Why am I so pathetic?

[gingerface40]

Been finished with my ex about a month now. Cut all contact. Blocked on everything.

Left his daughter on snap chat (we do get on well)

Seen them all tonight laughing and having fun. Including her dad my ex. God it hurts that he hasn't a care in the world, and I am
still moping about, even if he did treat me like shite.

Just wanting a hand hold. Starting a new fitness regime tomorrow as my confidence has been knocked and I am feeling ugly. So hopefully that will help

Have yu not ad a laugh with anyone at all? Not even once in the last month?

Why not stop moping about and go and do something less boring instead?

It really is your choice how you respond to this.

Best thing is to stop looking

@GreyCarpet

Have yu not ad a laugh with anyone at all? Not even once in the last month?

Why not stop moping about and go and do something less boring instead?

It really is your choice how you respond to this.

It feels like I haven't. My mum is very ill at the moment and ive lost my main source of childcare. Their Dad is as much use as god knows what. He's working all the hours he can as he's getting married soon

I have loads of fun with my children. But I haven't been able to go out and do adult things.

@TurnUpTurnip

Best thing is to stop looking

Your right there!

It is difficult when a relationship ends - even a bad one. You need to re invent a new life and routine for yourself. Sounds like you are being positive joining a fitness froup and you may meet some new friends. It is hard not to over obsess about your ex getting on with his life and being happy but be kind to yourself - laugh withyour children - they grow up fast - spend quality time with your mother and just embrace this time to yourself

Totally get this OP.

I finished with someone earlier this year, ended horribly and looking back at the relationship it wasn't good but I still find myself coming and going in feelings.
It's hard when you still feel a certain way.
Some people are better at accepting it's over than others.
I still laugh a lot with friends and have a great social life but I still miss him.

It'll take time.

Yeah I am trying. And the sad thing is. He was awful to me.

He was lovely at the start, then ghosted me for a about a month. I even keeled and got back with him again.

I have no idea why I feel like this 😂🤣

When I went through a horrible break up the only person at the time that could make me laugh and have a fun evening with was my daughter, I was not happy the other times until I recovered. Social Media should come with a mental health warning. Yes, he may be happy at that moment in time and it was captured. For you, I would take her off SM and heal properly.

@Gingerface40

Yeah I am trying. And the sad thing is. He was awful to me.

He was lovely at the start, then ghosted me for a about a month. I even keeled and got back with him again.

I have no idea why I feel like this 😂🤣

Mine ghosted me too and I took him back.

It's awful when we get suckered in. They mess us about and then claim free rent in our minds.
It'll get easier.
Distraction distraction distraction
Self love and self growth - but for yourself.

You'll get there! I'm 4 months in and it's much easier then it was back then

That sounds SO hard. Well done for being the bigger person.

He is her dad. It's right that he laughs with her and makes her the focus of his time. I know you know that. But this is the worst time and you will feel better. I am sure you are not ugly at all but starting a fitness regime feels amazing!! You will feel like a she wolf in a week or two, it is so his loss x

You are having to swallow down a triple decker shit sandwich, with a side order of shit. It must hurt and that's awful.

Oh I know that, they are close. We were close! I've blocked him on everything, but have kept his daughter, as I don't want to be the jealous ex
They were out for a few drinks . With a few people, think it's because I was never invited to anything either, that's where the feeling of me not being enough.
To be fair she did take them off her Snapchat, not that I commented, nor I would.
Yeah I do all sorts on an evening. It probably didn't help that I've been stuck in, I have been out with the children but they were all tucked up when I seen it.
Getting old sucks!

So last night he messaged me on a dating app that I am on.
Wanting me to go over and see him. I didn't. I stayed strong.
Head is all over the place again,
No sleep and a cracking headache 🤕

That’s a booty call and a head fuck. Well done for staying strong. You are worth more than him.

I've cried all morning.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.

I've came off the app myself now.

Thank you for listening to me moan

Well done for being strong and ignoring his request. He is trying to mess with you head. You know you're better off without him. You said he treated you 'like shite' so if you allowed him back he would do the same again. In fact he would be worse, as he'd see that he's got away with it once so he can now push you further.

One thing is for sure - if you got back together with him, he would be treating you like shite again before too long. Whereas if you stay strong and completely ignore him, your life will improve day by day, and before too long you will wonder what you ever saw in him.

Keep focussed on your plan for building your self confidence - whether it's exercise, fresh air, a new hobby or qualification, planning fun stuff with your children, catching up with old friends. All these things will help take your mind off him, and also will make you realise life can be so much better with out him!!

Hey I know. It just hit me seeing him on POF and him actually texting me, on it.

He told me he didn't have the time for me, but he was looking for "long term relationship "

The kids dad gets married next week and I was never at all bothered about that, in fact I wish him well, but this is a whole new level.

It's like I was never good enough!

So today me and the kids have made a cake which I will be eating tonight 😂

The audacity! Cheeky fucker.
Shows you how overinflated his ego is.
I've seen old flames and faded dates on dating apps and never felt the need to reach out and neither have they. That's not normal healthy behaviour.

So glad you ignored. More power to you!!!!
Enjoy the cake. You totally deserve that!!

I know I've had to come off so I am not looking!

Cake was amazing!

Yeah he told me to go and see him.

So not worth it.
This is a excellent opportunity to gain a bit of purchase and power within yourself.
He's reached out to pull you back in and you don't reply.
He'll know you got it, most likely read it (I don't know POF works exactly. But I've heard some sites give online status and read receipts?)
And then he'll know that you chose never to reply.
Puts all the power within you.
That's such an amazing place to be personally.
Not to be confused with putting you in control of the "relationship", because this isn't a game.
But for yourself, what a great place to be. What a statement to yourself.

Bravo

He even sent me a photo of himself and I ignored it!

I was soooooo tempted to go and I haven't.

I think he was drunk mind. I've came off POF now, if it wasn't him, someone was asking to have a look at my feet 🤣😂