Do I own up

[Imthemoststupidperson]

I've made a stupid mistake. A few weeks ago I bumped into an old fwb. We spoke on fb remembering the good times and he asked to meet up. I told him I was in a relationship but ide be happy to meet to talk. I'll admit we were flirting through the messages and had arranged to meet up. I'm 99% sure I wouldnt of slept with him, but now hes blocked me. I've already left the house so now I'm just sitting in asda car park waiting for enough time so I can go home because I told dp I was going to see a friend. He didnt ask any details and I didnt provide any but he is a good man and I am so ashamed of what I have done.
I feel so stupid. Do I just go home admit all to dp and hope he forgives me? Or do I just slink back in an hour pretend everything fine and put it behind me. I have never thought about cheating on dp before and I'm sure I wouldnt but it feels wrong.
What should I do?

Did the fwb say anything before blocking you or did he literally just disappear?

Don't do anything today. Take yourself home and have a cup of tea.

Over the next few days you need to do some soul searching. WHY did you sneak off to speak to a fwb? There must be a reason. Think about seeing a counsellor if you can't think why.

You might find an answer that you don't like- that you don't love your partner any more. That you're bored in your life. Maybe another reason.

Then take action.

Hmmm.

I wonder if your husband was actually posing as FWB

@FuckingFabulous
Thst same thought was running through my head while reading the thread.

@Imthemoststupidperson
Sorry but what you done is a shit thing to do to a man you say you love. If I was your dp I would be gone.

@IsThePopeCatholic

Don’t tell him. You’ve done nothing wrong, but this could hurt your relationship if you do.

Nothing wrong messaging an ex FWB, flirting and arranging to meet up all in secret? Really? You would think your partner did 'nothing wrong' if they did that?!

I have never thought about cheating on dp before and I’m sure I wouldn’t but it feels wrong.

It feels wrong because you’ve emotionally cheated. You felt entitled to flirt, lie, and meet up with a previous sexual partner.

You and DP are not equally committed. Move on so he can be free to find someone who is all in.

I feel sorry for your partner,how would you feel if he did this??

You need to be clear and honest with yourself about why you went to meet him before doing any explaining to DP. There will be a lot of questions.
He might have a hard time believing that nothing would've happened. You've gone to meet this man but the sole reason it hasn't happened is because he's blocked you.

Count your blessings that he did not show up .....who knows what that could of progressed into. A friend with benefits never wants to commit - it is just meaningless sex - do you want to jepodise am established loving proper relationship for that? He is no friend if he blocked you - sounds like he was messing around and probably has a partner that found out hence he blocked you.

‘I met up with someone I used to have sex with, just talking and flirting though. I wouldn’t have done anything’
If he said that to you how would you feel?
Personally I’d feel utterly betrayed and like the trust had gone.

Did you post here so you could get the roasting you feel you deserve?

What’s going on op?

Are you in love with your partner?

Do you need more than you are getting from the relationship?

Take stock and be Frank with yourself… what really brought you to this car park?

Wow 🥴

You made a mistake. Not one person has not made some kind of mistake in their lives. At this moment you have done nothing physical, yes there was some flirty texting but thats it. Learn from it and move on. As a previous poster said, it might be a chance to examine whats going on in your life at the moment. See if there are parts of your relationship that you can work on or if you are truly happy. Sometimes we just need a wake up call to remind us what we have in our lives that is good because we all get complacent sometimes. Don't leave your partner over this! Unless you actually want to leave your partner. You're human. Humans make mistakes.

I’d question my relationship and how much I really liked my partner if I was tempted elsewhere

If I was your DP and I found out about this I would be gone instantly, no discussion, no arguing - it is a betrayal.

BUT.... as previous posters have said use this as a awake up call - what do you want??
Whatever you do, do not cheat on your DP, leave before you do that and keep your fucking dignity.

I think you've been set up. I'd be more worried about the fall out from that. Perhaps your DP already knows about the flirty messages exchanged and the plan to meet up for sex.
I don't believe you wouldn't have snagged each other. What other reason is there for arranging this? He was a FWB for God's sake!