Will I ever meet someone again?

[Hmummy97]

It has been over 2.5 years since I was in a relationship, and to be honest since I've had any sort of male interaction at all. My boyfriend left me whilst I was pregnant with my son, so I've had a lot on my plate in terms of being a single mum and dealing with the scars my ex left. But I can truthfully say I've been over him for a long time.
But in terms of meeting anyone else, I just can't see it happening. I haven't been interested in meeting anyone for obvious reasons as I've been so preoccupied with my son and not wanted any distractions, but now after 2.5 years and me only being 26, it's started to dawn on me that I've had no male attention really, I've had no "physical" action except for one or two drunken kisses. Im starting to think, is it me? Am I just not someone people want?
I honestly love being on my own, I'm very independent, but for some reason I'm starting to take it as a bit of a confidence knock that I've not had any interests after all this time. A friend of mine has recently split up with her ex who she has a child with, and just 2 months later has got a few males she's texting etc and showing interest. I'm not trying to compare but it's made me realise how utterly single I've been and am!
I know everyone is different, and as I said I do enjoy the independent life just with me and my son, but I am starting to think - am I not attractive? Am I not likeable? Will I ever meet someone again?

This doesn't sound like it's you. I think it's harder to meet people 'naturally' when you are a lone parent. I was much older than you when I became single, and didn't meet anyone through work (female based job). Also, I didn't want to go out on the razz. I signed up for online dating, and though at times it was a pita, and I had to be very ruthless I met someone I clicked with (took 2 years of being OLD on and off) In many ways, the fact that it was online made it easier to weed out the obvious chancers. I'm sure you are likeable. You will meet someone again if you want to. I did, and I'm quite old and quite fat :)

It's impossible to say Op, and I'm sorry you're feeling like this.

I'm watching with interest as I'm 39 and a solo parent to be (via IVF and a sperm donor) in Dec and I can see myself in your story.

I also value my independence and totally understand where you're coming from...but also understand the lack of "physical contact" being an issue...

What you do have though is more time than some of us older posters so technically and probability speaking, being younger does put you in a better position (just by the virtue of being younger)...you may even meet a partner with whom you could expand your family with? It is certainly for me it's too late....

In the meantime, there's the dating apps Tinder, Bumble to explore hook ups/maybe trying to find something long term....

It's so hard to find someone you fancy and they fancy you back regardless of age
...and of course when you don't want to settle....

How do you mean you get no male attention? Do you mean in the street? Or are you actively looking like on dating sites? As if you mean in the street then men probably won’t approach you if you are with your child. It doesn’t sound like you’re actively trying. FWIW I’m a single mum to 4 and have been single for 5 years, can’t date as with them 24/7 I don’t expect mr right will just start texting me one day If I haven’t actively tried to put myself out there.

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants @Musttryharder2021 @TurnUpTurnip thank you for your responses! Glad I'm not the only one!!
I definitely haven't put myself out there as much as I should, if finding someone is something I really wanted. I suppose it's cos I'm on the fence about whether it's that I actually want someone, or just craving a bit of attention? Which sounds really shallow. Also sick of people asking me when I'm going to meet someone, which reinforces the fact I've been single for so long!!
I haven't really been on the "dating" scene for a long time, since before my last partner so about 5-6 years!! So I don't really know how people approach eachother nowadays! I don't feel ready to put myself on a dating website yet because then that's me totally admitting I'm after something, when I'd prefer it to just happen naturally? Maybe I'm expecting something too specific here!
I guess I'd just like an ego boast here and there 🤣 sorry for the moany pointless post!!

With the best will in the world it is not going to happen naturally if you do not go out and socialize. Dip your toe in to the land of old and state you are looking for friendship first hopefully leading to a relationship.
Good luck and take it slowly.

Go and do stuff. Join the local community samba band. The board games club in your local pub. The group that organises historical guided tours round your area. The evening course on making your own curry. Whether you meet someone or not isn't the point. You're not happy in yourself, and if you were, you'd be doing stuff like this on the regular, to keep your pilot light lit.

You'll meet people with similar interests. Maybe not the guy of your dreams, but possibly the new friend who will be getting married in February, and guess who you'll meet at her wedding? HIM! And d'you know what will happen? He'll be really impressed that you now lead a samba band, that you know loads about local history in your area, and he'll want you to show him how to make that excellent curry you made on date 4, so that he can make it for you next week.

Get out and do stuff; not to meet HIM, but for yourself. If you crave attention, you give attention to you. Think of something to do that would be fun for you, and go and do it. Start googling right now. Started? Brill... you're on your way to happy...

I'm a single parent, id only be able to date through a dating site as I don't socialise enough, when I bother I get attention, it just takes patience, I'm having a break atm but I won't give up. Work is another way, I've had some offers through men I work with but unfortunately they are not my type, but that is another possible way to meet naturally.

@tickertock

I'm a single parent, id only be able to date through a dating site as I don't socialise enough, when I bother I get attention, it just takes patience, I'm having a break atm but I won't give up. Work is another way, I've had some offers through men I work with but unfortunately they are not my type, but that is another possible way to meet naturally.

If you've got time for a relationship, you've got time to do things that'll help you meet people. You can spend that time on dating sites (high proportion of people who can't be arsed to have a life so do everything, including relationships, online, on their arse in an armchair) or you can spend it going out and meeting people who go out and do stuff.

Unless you're planning for your first few dates to be at your place once the kids are in bed, which would be really unhealthy, you've got time to 'socialise enough'.

@TheFoundations I guess I'm one of the can't be arsed ones

You shouldn't compare yourself to anyone! You're a hero for what you've been through and maybe you should remember that not everyone can survive it and thrive as you have! So bravo and congratulations for that! As for the "attractive" part, I think others find us attractive after we find attractive ourselves. I would suggest finding time to take care of yourself, have fun and feel good in your body and then you'll be amazed by how many people will start noticing you.

Everything begins inside us. 💜