What’s the fair way to split mortgage/bills here

[Southbound15]

My partner and I are just about to buy our first home together. He earns double what I earn but we are both high earners so although I earn a lot less I still earn a good salary. We are putting in 50/50 deposit and plan to split the mortgage payments 50/50, I have two children who will be with us majority of the time, he has children who are grown up but will come to stay whenever they like.
He is suggesting that we split the mortgage but he pays the bills - I feel like this is somewhat unfair on him but.. he does earn a lot more than me. Keen to hear how others do it in this situation

If I wanted to own half a house I would pay for half a house. I would also pay the bills for myself and my children.

I don’t like the idea of being subsided by a man who isn’t responsible for me or my children.

We have a joint account which we both pay in a portion of our take home pay… in our care 70% but it could be anything, say 50%. This then pays for all household expenses including mortgage and bills… The leftover part of wages are for us to do whatever we like including his grown up kids, tech or treats or savings etc… yours is a bit more complicated than ours as your kids aren’t his, I think? But we do it as a proportion of take home pay…

Make sure that the bills are in both your names for proving your ID

@Southbound15

My partner and I are just about to buy our first home together. He earns double what I earn but we are both high earners so although I earn a lot less I still earn a good salary. We are putting in 50/50 deposit and plan to split the mortgage payments 50/50, I have two children who will be with us majority of the time, he has children who are grown up but will come to stay whenever they like. He is suggesting that we split the mortgage but he pays the bills - I feel like this is somewhat unfair on him but.. he does earn a lot more than me. Keen to hear how others do it in this situation

You’re really selling yourself short and being a martyr if you are desperate to be 50/50 in this situation. He earns double what you do. He loves you. He wants to make your life easier.

This is normal.

I don’t mean to be a martyr I have always just been fiercely independent- you are right- he does want to make things easier

I would go with what he has suggested.

To me that is perfectly fair and demonstrates that he is a good guy who recognises that if you are not married then you are taking a big risk in moving in together and deserve the opportunity to build equity and have an asset rather than be paying bills while he pays mortgage.

He's not suggesting to take on more of the mortgage and a therefore a higher percentage of the house. He's offering to take responsibility for the boring bits and wont get anything back from that.
You've got a good 'un there!

I think it’s fine, it sounds like he is happy and able to afford this. Maybe you could pay the food shop and he can take care of the other bills, still having your name on them. You probably have additional costs to cover as your kids are younger. Good luck with it all.

I think it's fine.
Allow him to if he wants to.

Keep saving well for your childrens future and make sure you are on the bills.

Best of luck

Everything goes in one pot, all Bill's co.e off and remainder is split 50/50. That's a partnership in my book.

Same situation , my dh earns triple than me. He pays mortgage(which is on both our names ) , council tax, petrol in both cars and food shopping. I pay energy and water bill only. But i sacrificed my career because of our kids and they all are young, also I cook food . i think its fair.

50/50 on the mortgage then him a quarter of the bills and you three quarters as it’s 1 vs 3. That’s what I would advise my adult children in that situation.