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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I the one in the wrong?

9 replies

Belleangel22 · 16/10/2021 19:55

Hey been talking to this guy for a couple of months now, it’s the best “talking stage” relationship I’ve ever had, he seems so genuine and I’ve only ever heard good things about him. We have only been out a few times tho, if im out with my friends he always offers to pick me up. We have done the deed once. However that I feel like things aren’t right but I can’t tell if it’s just me being paranoid.

He still talks to me as normal but we haven’t been out in weeks. He never really initiates plans but does say he wants to see me. I don’t know if it’s just who he as a person like I think he’s very reserved but he’s never been really emotional or confrontational like guys I’ve talked to before, but then again all the guys I talked to before were f*boys.

He deffo has never seemed to have bad intentions with me always acted like a true gentleman never initiated anything sexual and I sometimes I just think he sees me as a friend. (Although I was told he was really interested in me months ago which is why i started messaging him)

Anyway, sometimes he’s really bad with texting and at first I thought he was just a bad textee. But now he’s been using the same excuses a couple of times I’ve got suspicious. Sometimes he says he’s had no signal but then I found out he was messaging his best friend at the same time he said to me he had no signal.

So fast forward to the other night I confronted him about this and I also told him I felt like I was wasting my time and it sucked because I really like him. He totally flipped and said he didn’t need this right now and didn’t like the thought of us talking about him behind his back. I responded by saying okay he didn’t need to be so rude to me I was just asking. We haven’t spoken since this last message, should I be the one or message him and apologise?or was this a good getaway for him because he wasn’t interested in me. I really do think he did like me and im so confused as to why he would give up on us thay easily , any advice?

OP posts:
ExcitedtoTry · 16/10/2021 19:59

Too much drama and not enough of a real relationship.

If he wanted to see you he would and viceversa. I don’t understand what you’re getting out of this?

BringOnTheOtherWorlders · 16/10/2021 20:02

There's nothing here - don't apologize, don't text.
If he wanted to see you, he would. If he wanted to text you, he would.
Don't chase him.

category12 · 16/10/2021 20:06

God no, don't text him to apologise - pay attention to what he's shown you.

You weren't wrong that he's cooled off towards you.

That he's blown up defensively because you called him out on it, doesn't change it.

He's not interested.

tickertock · 16/10/2021 20:07

Doesn't sound like he's that interested, an easy get out.
Don't waste your time on a man that doesn't want to go out anywhere with you, he probably just wanted something casual by the sound of it.

PartyStory · 16/10/2021 20:08

Sounds like he wasn’t that into you. I would consider the relationship over.

Peach01 · 16/10/2021 20:13

Don't message him, don't apologise. The proofs in the pudding with this one. He's not doing anything to keep you interested, he's backed off and doesn’t want to deal with the fact you brought it to his attention.

Confronting him hasn't made anything worse, it should give you clarity because it's confirmed what you thought. There's not anything to hold onto here.

Aprilx · 16/10/2021 20:24

You feel like you area wasting your time because you are.

This is going nowhere, time to leave it.

Belleangel22 · 16/10/2021 20:25

Thanks guys, it’s horrible but I guess yous are right

OP posts:
ChequerBoard · 16/10/2021 20:28

Sorry to say, but the previous posters are right - he's just not that into you.

Save your attention and energy for someone that really want to be with you.

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