Why would a guy wait for his gf to end the relationship

[sroseym]

So a work mate is in a very unhappy relationship he and his gf have both cheated on each other, they argue all the time. it's very toxic and very immature. He's a bit older than me he's around 30. He said he was so unhappy but waiting for her to end it because he's too much of a coward.

I was a little bit dumb struck. How can u stay such an unhappy relationship. I think it's been bad for around 2 years

I've known of a few relationships like this. Absolutely exasperating to witness. "Just fucking leave him you don't even like him!" is something I have ended up bellowing at friends more than once and they never listened, always bleated on about trying to make it work.

Things people in these relationships (men and women) had in common, in my experience:

• Absolute terror of being alone. To them a shit relationship with someone they couldn't stand was preferable to being single. I don't get this at all
• Love of/need for drama. To them the breaking up and making up, the storming off and reuniting, the ups and downs were all just "passion" and not, in fact, toxicity. It made them unhappy but there was definitely a bit of them that revelled in being the star of their own soap opera
• No awareness that a healthy relationship doesn't need drama and high emotion, that it's possible to be in a nice relationship with a nice person who you like and who likes you back and that's all it takes.

Lots of reasons people stay in relationships like this.

Wanting to be dumped rather than do the dumping so they can maintain their image as a "good guy". I've seen this happen several times.

Addicted to the fight and passionate kiss and make up cycle. A nice quiet life will never fulfill some people.

Fear of being alone/ afraid you won't meet someone else/ not wanting your partner but not wanting to see them with anyone else.

Knowing life will be practically harder once separated. With men they are often afraid of losing a domestic servant and regular sex partner. For one or both partners it may be a financial struggle to maintain a household and bills alone.

Intertwined lives hard to separate. i.e. joint friends, knowing each others families.

Love each other but badly suited.

They are both getting something out of the drama.

He needs sex and household services.
She needs to be able to start sentences with, "My boyfriend...."

This ^^

He’s told you exactly why he hasn’t ended it, I’m not sure why you need our opinions on it.

Which part of ‘too much of a coward’ are you not getting?

I was married to one of these.
It's just pure undiluted laziness. Men like your colleague make women like his girlfriend into the mothers they never had. They become possessive little mama's boys. It's a very screwed-up dynamic... an utterly toxic and exhausting one.

Oh god if they live together and have children then it's purely he doesn't want to pay someone for the wife work. Ewwwww