introduce new partner to my kids

[HSD91]

After the divorce my kids (11 months and 7 yo) and I had to move, at our new place I fell while cleaning, sprained my ankle, my 7 year old got scared and asked our neighbor to come to help me, since then he has been a great help, at first he babysat my kids and taught my oldest to play the guitar, we became friends and the kids love him. But a few months back we started a relationship, my question is how do I tell this to my 7-year-old? I don't think my baby will understand the change of relationship but I'm worried about my oldest reaction

How long between the divorce and the new relationship?

Since they already know him, I wouldn't be going overboard with the "he's now my partner" conversation. Personally I'd just let things happen naturally - the kids will see him all the time anyway, they love him , just keep going as you are. Kids don't need complicated explanations of the difference between friendship and romantic relationships .

Agree with the above. It’s sounds like he has already become a friend of the family

So unless you tie in a chat about the birds and the bees while explaining your relationship status, it will make no difference to your 7 year old now.

Enjoy your new friend mummy!

The timeline here is crazy.

Before your relationship you let this new man babysit your kids? So your little baby? There's no way I'd let a random man have access to my baby.

And you've been in this relationship for a few months already? So not even six months divorced?

@WTF475878237NC

The timeline here is crazy.

Before your relationship you let this new man babysit your kids? So your little baby? There's no way I'd let a random man have access to my baby.

And you've been in this relationship for a few months already? So not even six months divorced?

I agree- and now you’re thinking of telling your child this very new man is your partner. Jesus. Let the child adjust to the divorce and house move before bringing a new man into the mix.

How long is this timeliness?

Like how long did you know him before he was babysitting?

And how long have you been in a relationship?

That aside, I don't really see the need to tell the 7 year old if the time line is short.

My dp met my ds on the same day I did as I met him at my best friends house. He is related to her. We knew eachother as friends for a year or so, he helped us move and was great support. Then got in a relationship and nothing much changed, regarding ds. So I didn't tell him until I got the point I though people may causally mention it in front of DS and had started treating us like a couple.

Also interested to know how long you were divorced as we all need time to heal and to find ourselves and our independence instead of going from the frying pan into the fire. Also concerned you let a man you did not know so well babysit your baby and child. I would not trust anyone I did not know like that with children so young. I would take your time and get to know this man more as it is a big step. I hope you are happy but the children have to be your first priority and take it slow. I would not say anything to the children yet as they have been though enough already. It is still early days so just enjoy seeing each other as you are.

It's great that you're happy OP. How long has your eldest had to grieve the breakup of his family though? Is he in contact with his dad? These are relevant to me in terms of how he is generally and whether it is right to introduce this man as your partner. Presumably his dad is also your baby's dad too?

Obviously very cynical part of me here....Bit concerned you're coming across as vulnerable and this new man wants access to kids.

Having done similar please be very careful. It was only mumsnet that alerted me to how odd this was and made me realise how vulnerable I was and how the dc desperately needed a father figure that he just happily became until he didn't leaving us all heartbroken. Ds considered him his dad. We were only fwb too-dc never knew he was more than a friend. As a neighbour though he was around a great deal and he was very charming and helpful and I was a complete fool. It sounds like this could be good for you but please recognise how vulnerable you and your dc are and consider why a man would want to get involved with a ready made family especially when there's such a young baby. You are very convenient for sure. Take care