Pregnant and he's walked out on me

[3bearss]

So im 13 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend walked out on me 2 weeks ago. Told me he hadn't left me just wanted to cool things down and he wanted to be there for me. Last week he came to see me moved my car and broke the ignition and when i got upset he left and hasnt bothered to help me. He didnt come to the scan. He's not bothered to contact me only when i posted a picture of a scan through his door.

Today he said he was sick of me and wasn't coming back.

Heads completely gone and i just feel so heart broken.

I think hes already on dating sites too 😭😭😭

Just ... I'm sorry and sending support. Frankly you'll feel different soon if that's the kind of man he is .. then yes your better off without. You'll be k and surprise yourself .. but I know how rubbish your feeling now. Have a good cry. You tried to involve him .. he rejected that so just carry on. Lots of hugs xxx

What a bastard.
Jesus!!!!

Cry, shout, eat the chocolate.
Then fix your hair, put you first, big deep breathe. You can do this.
Fuck him, you don’t need him.

So sorry to hear you are going through this. He is the issue and not you. You are not alone and think of you and your baby. It will be so much easier without him to worry about as you can concentrate on your baby. I left ex partner when our baby was only few weeks old and glad I did it then. He has shown how irresponsible and immature he is. Do you have family or friends to support you or someone to talk to. Please do so or if not come on here and women give great advise and support. Contact any agencies that can support you also through this difficult time, please reach out. If you took him back, he will do it again and again. How could he leave you without your car working and him on dating sites. He will try to come back but take some time to please think things through first. Take care.

Sorry to hear this, was it because of the pregnancy?
When I was pregnant with my first child my bf left me for a couple of weeks, we got back together, he found the pregnancy shock hard to deal with, we lasted another 18 years now divorced, I was always certain I wanted the baby whether he was with me or not and luckily my family helped me through it while he left me.

Have you got anyone to help you? Are you in a financial position to still go ahead with the pregnancy?

Sending big hugs sweetheart.
You are better off without someone like that in your life .
Look after yourself ...snuggle up in bed ..cry if you need to .Get up tomorrow and get through the day ....
Do the same tomorrow -and I promise ,soon you will realise just how strong you are ..

Please remember ,you have a community of women on here who will help you .

I have 3 kids from a previous relationship he has 1 so this 1 was an accident. And was a shock to us both. Then we got our heads around us having it. Now he says to get rid and he doesn't want a child with me.
Hes onky bothered about his other son.

Im absolutely distraught. For the past 18 months ive got up at 5am to take him work and 2 weeks ago he past his test. I feel like thsts all i was goid for. Him passing his test. He said hes sick of how i treated him. All ive done is run around after him and made myself so ill because of it. Ive been exhausted and snappy because of it. Ive also been so poorly with this pregnancy and he says all i do is moan and be ill.

Then hes all nice then back to bei g horrible. He makes out to everyone im a bitch. Ok i csn be sometimes who cant? But ive moved heaven and earth for him and he does not csre ive done that for him he just brushes it under the carpet like its normal

I also suffer from mental health as my previous relationship was 15vyears of pure abuse i thought he was different clearly not. Ive absolutely sat and sobbed tonight to the point of hyperventilating hes blocked me on everything and ive called tonight clearly upset and he jyst emailed me to say stop ringing hes not coming back

Thsnk you everyone. Ive honestly thought about just nit living anymore. I hate him but i love him. And i cant believe hes walked out on me leaving me pregnant and not giving a dam.

Never felt so low x

Aw just read your updated post. Please if you get that low pick up the phone to the samaritans, a friend, family member. Think of your children. This feeling will pass and you will smile again. He should not be treating you like this but he has shown his true colours. You need to talk to someone and do not make any rash decisions now. You have lost your confidence but it will return. You need time to heal especially after the past relationships which has left it's mark on you. He is the bad on in this and let him off, he is a waste of space and you are bound to feel lonely now but it will pass.

I look at them and they are all that keep me breathing. Thank you. Thank you all for your comments just need to speak to someone x

Sending hugs op x

Oh OP what a horrible man. I completely understand how devastated you must be.

Take each day one day at a time. Ignore everything he says - he is trying to justify his behaviour but there is no justification
It’s time to focus on yourself and your children. I would block him for a while to give you time to reflect on how best to move forward without him. You don’t need his negativity.

You will be ok with support and time. Sending hugs

I have blocked him ive deleted my email app too. Thank you for all your kind words. Felt very lonely earlier.

Think its time i got some sleep 😔

Sleep tight OP. Wishing you all the best

I'm so sorry to hear he's been so awful. You have choices still though - if you're so unhappy you're talking about suicide perhaps not going ahead with the pregnancy might be better for you and your existing children.

It will be very hard work with a newborn and three children nd you will be tied to its father for the next 18 years.

Fine if you want the baby and can cope but you're not trapped and can make decisions that take your future happiness into account.

for you

Hello OP - we're so sorry you're going through this. What an awful shock for you. You're getting some good advice on here but we'd recommend telling your midwife what's happened - they will be able to point you in the direction of support.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

OP - please get some help for your mental health. And please prioritise your children.
No man is worth this must suffering for you and your existing kids.
I am sorry to say - but i don’t think it’s fair to bring another child into this life when you are barely holding on. And your kids they are already there deserve more.

Also agree with some others' that you need to talk to someone to see if you are able to cope with another child. It will be so hard with a newborn and no support from him. Hope you are ok and got to talk to family or friend etc..

What a bastard he is. It's hard for you at the moment, but get support from family and friends, meet up and/or talk to people. Get as much help as you can.

IF he had stayed around, he probably wouldn't have been of any use to you, and seeing as he's so disinterested in being a father, he wouldn't make a good dad either. I'm sorry you're going through this x

Hello everyone

Thank you for your comments. Im nearly 14 weeks pregnant and getting rid is just not an option to me. My children have given me such comfort today. Ive brought 3 beautiful caring children up by myself and and an extra 1 will be just as loved.

Im extremely confused with it all. A week ago he said he wanted to be there for us both and he was letting things calm down. We had been arguing a lot. But i had gine out my way fir him getting up at 5am to take him work and have been exhausted. So yes ive been nasty but ive been soooooo tired and extremely ill with tbis pregnancy. Ive not spoken to him he said he was sick of me and im hassle. So ill go it alone with my other children. I shall be seeking medical advice as ive plunged into a depression. Not got out of bed and just cried and slept.

I told him yesterday before i posted he was playing with my head and no wonder i am the way i am with how hes treating me. He doesnt care. X

You will be fine, know things feel like shit now and you are grieving over what could have been and what you thought would be. You have your head together and you love your children so much and you sound like such a good mother. It will be easier once you get over the time and get used to just you and the kids, believe me it will be a happier home and your kids sound so lovely. Most men who call us women 'bitches' are manipulators and narcissists and it is not your fault. You treated him good but he did not give you the love and support you need. Him walking away shows his character. So sorry you are going through this but it will get better. You are exhausted with being pregnant, all those months of early mornings and now this. You will be ok in few days but good you are going to see your doctor. Support will help.