Boyfriend sleeping over - when for DC

[spongebobscaredypants]

After a terrible divorce this year I have rekindled a romance with my Hugh school sweetheart. It's been 7 months now. He has 3 teenage DC, I met them quickly (they don't have any memory of their mum and dad together) I have slept over lots and get on with them all great.

My DC (8&10) have only ever known me and their dad. He left in January, me and new DP got together early April. We introduced them to him last month, no concerns and they get on fine. They've maybe met him 5x for an hour or so each time.

My STXH over these last 10 months sees his children less and less. Resorting now to just one night a week. I don't care, I love having them with me. However I of course want to see more of DP, I am wondering when would be appropriate for new DP to stay the night, I have no idea how to brooch this and of course have there best interests at heart.

It's very frowned upon but my DP started to stay for sleepover after 7 months of us dating and 1 month after introducing him. All was fine. We've have been dating now around 15 months

I know I felt uncomfortable asking and thought I'd get flamed, it's a tricky one. I know this isn't a casual thing and would happily wait if needs be... how old are your children?

Almost like yours, eldest 10

I hope you don’t get flamed. You haven’t done anything wrong and you’re being thoughtful about it all.

Keep meeting up, see how it goes, chat to your DC, give it a couple more months?

I’m probably a little more worried about your ex husband spending less time with them. I know you want your kids with you but hey that’s divorce for you. Push your ex husband. Having your children with good relationships with mum and dad is the baseline for you both to introduce others into their life. If your kids are insecure with either one of you they’ll see others as a threat.