I have had to name change for this, don’t want to out myself.
In the middle of divorcing exh, who insists on living together, can’t get him to go, solicitors say it has to wait until the financial orders are made.
I keep myself to myself and let him do his thing with dc and do my own thing with them. He says to them that mummy doesn’t want to come with us. He keeps telling me I’m making a mistake, constantly tries to talk me out of it, its wearing me down. When this stops working he starts saying I’m a bad mum, that I am damaging the children, that I am abusive to them, I have not done anything to them. He says I am a danger to children and should not be around them, and even says I’d be an unfit granny. His reason for all this is because I was abused as a child (by a neighbour – not parents). He says my mind is messed up, so it makes me totally imagine things up that he has done to me, like cheating – which he admitted, but then denied, thane admitted, denied. I lost track. He says I am traumatised and I am divorcing him based on fictional mistakes I think he’s made, and my mind is so messed up that it makes up untruths and I will do the same to dc. I ignore him. Eventually he stops and goes back to telling me how much he loves me and how much he wants to try again, doesn’t work, then he goes back to the same bad stuff. He says I’m the worst woman he’s met, then I tell him to sign the papers, he then says he will not give up on me, and feels sorry for my poor little traumatised body and mind. FGS. He also suggests we change to a parenting marriage - but this is another manipulation. I have been in touch with women’s aid, they have told me he is abusive, manipulating and controlling. I feel so trapped. It really gets to me when he tells me I am an abusive mum, I don’t react but I think he can see it pushes my buttons. How can I cope with this, how do I not get triggered? I feel so trapped. I can't afford to leave or I would.