No contact, did it work? (Not a typical ‘want them back’ thread!)

[Chairsortableg]

I’m just interested really. I’ve never been great with no contact but I recently had a pretty shocking break up where I felt numb. Nothing. Surprised myself that I didn’t even want to talk to them. Deleted their number. It’s been a week. Still don’t want to talk to them but just interested in people’s experiences of it! Having never been able to do it myself!!

It's worked for me.
I would say it's mostly the appropriate way to respond after a breakup.
I then use my energy either finding a replacement if that's what I want, or my friends/family/hobbies/health/travel etc.

Never look back. Make a list of all the things you wish were in your life. Start working towards them. No time to waste on dithering around about exes.

It worked for me too. Every time!

What I found was the first three weeks were tough going, after that I then felt differently about them so when they came crawling back I was in a different, more positive head space whereby I didn’t want them back. Admittedly I strung a few along for payback.

Always if i was the one doing the dumping bit struggled if i was being dumped 😜

Yes I've found it works. Hard and empty at first but it soon becomes normal.

Absolutely the right way to go. I was dumped from a very great height a few years ago. Went into shock and went into complete NC mode. It was very tough but the only way to move on and get over it. Of course the dumper couldn't hack me going silent after he dumped me and tried to re connect......block, block and block again....NC is the best thing.

Two in a year! First has been six months we were on/off and this is the longest without nc and definitely the final time.

Second was a guy I was dating for only 6 weeks, still hurt though, 2 months.

I'm glad they haven't returned as it makes it so much easier to try and move on. It's going to be some time before I'm ready to date again.

NC everytime. Total silence. It’s the only response. Don’t ask for clarification. Don’t ask if there’s anything you can do to fix it. Zero response. Don’t even acknowledge the message. Block. It’s the only way to take back some power in that situation.

It’s the best and easiest way of moving on with your life, for sure. You can start to rebuild your life without feeling like you have some kind of loyalty to someone.

It does help yes.

This thread has really been insightful and I'm sorry that everyone has had to go through this, but it's really encouraging to read that most if not all have come out on the other side feeling stronger

Yes, definitely until you get your head straight and move on mentally. I think it can be possible to be friends eventually, but not straight away.

One of my ex's left me for my best friend and said they wanted to all stay friends! Was my first proper relationship and I was heartbroken but naively went along with their suggestion. After about 3 months of torment as the two of them carried on in front of me I realised the only way was to go NC.

Their relationship did last a few years, but ended in a total train wreck, karma maybe. We get along now, within the group of friends, but I've moved away and I rarely see any of them in person.

I find as soon as I've stopped shagging/being intimate with someone I stop fancying them.

I also write a pros and cons list - this always help keep my emotions in check when I remember the little crappy habits/details about them!

It has been the only way i can get over being dumped. Its usually painful and agonizing the first month or two but after that it gets better.