Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If someone has strangled you...

3 replies

ThirdElephant · 15/10/2021 09:00

... the next step is them killing you.

Read this if you have been strangled by your partner:

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/oct/14/gabby-petito-wyoming-strangulation-domestic-violence?CMP=fb_gu&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR1Vyf-NCsHbTfguNMN6zOksAIStZPnotKMidSB8Qw-47ic8PvzR4h5TpzY#Echobox=1634213667

Important quote:

According to one study, 43% of women who are murdered by their intimate partners had been strangled by them in the past year. Once a woman has been strangled by her partner, the likelihood that he will strangle her again rises tenfold. The likelihood that he will murder her rises nearly eightfold. Because strangulation is a sign of increasing violence in an abusive relationship, and because the act of strangulation is so physically dangerous for the victim, it is usually the last escalation that the abuser makes before he kills her. According to the psychologist Sylvia Vella, who has worked with the San Diego police’s domestic violence unit, women who have been strangled by their partners even once are in a position of acute emergency. “Statistically, we know that once the hands are on the neck, the very next step is homicide,” Vella has said. “They don’t go backwards.”

OP posts:
Hoardasurass · 15/10/2021 10:14

And yet in Scotland it is only classed as common assault.
When my father strangled my dd (then 18 years old) whilst kneeling on her chest and had to be physically dragged off her all police Scotland did was give him a caution!
Dd was willing to go to court she had witnesses and the person who was on a zoom call with her when she was attacked had recorded the attack (and called 999) still it was only a "domestic assault " rather than the attempted murder that it was, he's been violent all my life and I've been nc for years because of his behaviour and mum covering it but dd thought she knew better now she gets it. That man will kill my mum 1 day but police Scotland don't care

RaisedByPangolins · 15/10/2021 10:19

Jeez your poor DD Hoard. How terrifying for her.

This happened to me in my 20s and I feel lucky to be alive now tbh. Didn’t report to police as I was just happy to have had someone there to pull him off me. We’d both been drinking so I think in my mind it wasn’t really “him” who had done it. I pray he didn’t go on to do it to someone else. Having had a sneaky look on FB and seen him smiling with his (presume) wife it seems that he hasn’t - but then again given the police response to your dad, there’s every chance he’s done it and just walked away again.

Drinkingallthewine · 15/10/2021 16:40

Mine strangled me. Supposedly it was because I kissed someone (I didn't and it was verified immediately by a sibling) at an event several years before I met my boyfriend.

In the years since, I've come to realise that I didn't get strangled for that. He had been in a mood I now know as part of the cycle immediately before DV and it was just something - anything- to justify the violence already brewing in him prior to strangling me. I could have washed a cup wrong and it would have been blamed on that. I was bruised and hoarse for a full week or more after it. I shiver to think how close I came to him killing me that night.

I fully expect that I'll open a news article some day about him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread