Apologies if this is a long one!
My relationship of 8 years ended around three months ago. My ex ended things as he had been experiencing depression and felt that I would be better off without him. For context - he previously had a secure and relatively well paying job and decided to leave this for a new company in a new industry to him. We moved many miles away from our friends and my family for this (I can do my job from anywhere and wanted to support him to give this a try, he was miserable in his old job). Then the pandemic struck and he lost this job, which really started a bit of a downward spiral as he struggled to find new employment. He took whatever he could get and worked in a supermarket for a while. We of course had to tighten our belts but we were by no means in a dire financial situation, we were managing fine. Over this time as well he has suffered several bereavements of incredibly close family members, and he is in a very bad place.
I went to visit my parents for a weekend a few months ago, and when I was away he sent me a text to say he didn’t love me anymore, I felt like a friend to him, and that he couldn’t give me what I wanted. I assured him that this was just a rough patch and that I didn’t think any less of him for the events that had taken place, and that I felt it was just a blip that we would bounce back from. He was adamant it was over, and by the time I returned home, he was gone and had moved to his parents house who were about an hours drive away. This left me in a difficult position as I suddenly had sole responsibility of covering our outgoings (we had agreed to rent for a while while we got settled and then obviously weren’t in a position to buy once he had lost his job) but just about manageable. He said I was his best friend and that he didn’t want to lose me from his life, and that there might be hope for us to work on things but for now we needed space.
Three months later and we text every day, and have met up twice. Every time I try to have a proper conversation about the future and where we go from here he shuts down and says he can’t cope. I did have a bit of a moment about a month ago and I was just overwhelmed with grief (for the relationship and also our recent bereavements) and loneliness - I don’t know anyone here - and I was a bit cruel to him and accused him of stringing me along. Anyway, we’re three months on and no further forward. My internal battle is do I continue living here alone in the hope this will all get better, or do I cut my losses and go home? It feels hard to let go, but I don’t know that this can be fixed at this point. He’s not a bad man, but I do feel he is being unfair at leaving me in this limbo. Any advice?