Favouritism

[notusualname]

SIL and I had babies a month apart and MIL favours SIL's. They're both boys (mine is oldest and the first grandchild). But MIL glazes over if I talk about DS, then comes up with something SIL's DS does. It seems a chore to her to pay attention to my DS and things he can do aren't noticed til SIL's DS can do them - and then the comparisons start. My least favourite comment so far has been 'who's got the biggest smile', but now SIL's DS is heavier than mine and the comments are starting (can't I give him a bit of formula, etc). I hate that she won't see DS as a person, not something to be compared with SIL's DS.

I feel that she's taking out her dislike of me on DS and that's not fair. Anyone else in this enviable position?! Do I just grin and bear it and thank my lucky stars my mum's lovely?

my MIl has always favoured her youngest sons children ( i am married to her eldest son) her youngest son has always been her favourite child and her favouritism just crossed the generations. i grinned and stuck it out - then moved 300 miles away. i really disliked her when we lived near her, i couldnt take it that she didnt like my children as much as she liked her youngest sons children. especially babies - if he had a baby with his partner ( there was usually a baby every couple of years until 2 years ago) no one else got a look in with a baby around.

however now i have moved away i realise how much she loves her eldest son ( my hubby) and the lengths they will go to to help us out. i really appreciate them more - and i think this not only has to do with not seeing her for months - so when they do see my kids they make a fuss - but also becuase i have come to a reignation about the situation. its a shame - granted - but its not going to change so dont beat yourself up about it.

My ds and my niece are 5weeks apart in age. I've not really experienced favouritism, but do get frustrated when some people compare them. Girls are meant to be more advanced than boys and he was 6weeks prem ( that's what i say )

is youe sil your mil's dd?

if so that probably explains it although it's unfair

I was going to ask what pixiefish asked.

But if you are both DILs then yes, you will just have to make the most of your own mum and ignore the other one.

hmmm.. very controversial and close to home for me is this one.!

I could waffle on for hours about favouritism.. but will confine it to what is relevant to you.

My MIL had 2 grandchildren that she ended up taking a lot of responsibility for, as my dh's sister split from her hubby...
This was 12 or so years ago... nevertherless what has happened is the MIL + FIL have basically washed their hands of grandparenting per se,and my and dh (their son's) children have hardly seen them.
We don't live as close as hubby's sister.. so that is partly to do with it... but Favouritism seems extremely apparent to me... ie his sister is THE Favoured child - and her products are also favoured.. hubby meanwhile hasn't had a look in..
I am very hurt on his behalf, and also on behalf of our children...

(and that is just 1 side of the 'family'!!... don't get me started on MY side!! )