Briefly, Have met nice person, seemingly. Person hasn't had a partner for years, gut feeling for me isn't good, am I being too judgementla or saving myslef grief?

[gutfeeling]

Long and short (yes I am changing my name here also)met online. Only chatting atm. Seems genuine in responses, articulate etc...

Yet when I found this fact out, and its about 10 yrs since last proper relationship it freaked me out. He is currently back at uni teacher training. Is mid 30's, so has been on own for 'a reason' to my mind!!

Yet has said he is not proud of the fact, just hasnt met someone worth while getting to know.

Small town scenario, yet this also makes me feel like he must be extremely fussy, or have a high opinion of himslef which has yet to surface. Or as another mumsnetter said, commitment shy.

Yet seems to come from big happy family.

For me, this worry is spoiling me wanting to get to know him more. I feel I am being judgemental, yet I this is a huge deal trusting someone again.

I know that had he broken up with some one 6 months ago I wouldnt be thinking this is odd.

well I think you are being a bit critical he is just being enthusiastic I think, getting it right on the internet is difficult..I guess if you made the first contact then he is feeling confident that you like him

two days is enough oif you like someone to arrange to meet them imo...if you met in a abr then you might arrange to meet up the next day or even sleep with each other immediately..it depends on personal taste doesn't it?

are u thinking in terms of long term relationship with someone?

some people find talking on the internet something they want to get past as soon as possibloe others like to stay on the ointernet and never meet

the bottom line is if you have decided after 2 hours chat you don't like him then lose him

Pirate, I totally understand where you are coming from, When I was single I spoke to many guys online, not through a dating site, but from a chatroom I used to use.
Some of them seemed really clingy and would tell me how 'into me' they were, each time I would think 'wtf, you don't know me!!'.
With dp it was different, I would get online as often as possible, just to speak to him, if I signed in and he wasnt on MSN I'd be disappointed, we were both constantly 'I have to go do this then I'll be back' and would be back.
I really think that if there isn't htat connection on your side, then the 'relationship' is already questionable iyswim.
However I wouldn't totally dismiss him yet, keep talking to him and see if you still feel this way in a few days, he may just think you're awesome and think you deserve to be told!!!

thanks ladies. I am aware that I am scared, and doubtful and I am cuatious in life too, yet it isn't feeling right. Would like it to be that I couldn't wait to see him online, but he's not the one for me.gut feeling Iguess.

Like I said, give it a bit more time (sometimes the things dp said made me think he wasn't the one for me- he was totally different from anyone I'd ever met and had interests I didn't connect with).
If you still feel the same then it's only fair on both of you that you tell him you're not feeling it that way. He could become a very good friend instead, and they are just as important.
Good Luck.

When I met Dh he was a 2 year old virgin who'd never been seriosu with anyone, tehre was nowt wrong with him (though it freaked me for a while)- it was just where his life ahd been. He'd had other fish to fry so to speak.

I wouldn't worry, give the man a chance to show you who he truly is.

28 year old

doh

wow peachy

oh god, i have invited hassle into my life, why did i think it was good idea, what possessedme to think i need someone. I feel confused dot com.

relationships = hassle

its a worse sign if they've ahd several LT relatinships that then imploded imo (which frankly is what my DH took on)

well maybe you just aren't feeling like meeting someone that much at the mo?

otherwise just take it slowly and see what happens

I have to some extent the same dilemma with friend b) whom i haven't had loads of contact with but he has said he wants more than friends..and i think he may be someone with not much relationship experience and i am not sure that i really fancy maybe because he is lacking experience and he is 20 years younger than me as is friend a) but we both know where we are with that relationship so it is easier

all theo others i have been in touch with are either on the back boiler or petered out as oneor other has decided that we aren't keen

It's a good sign, IMO. He is someone who is able to be alone and doesn't have to bounce from one girlfriend to the next.

Both myself and DH had been on our own several years when we met and its one of the things that appealed to me about him - I knew that he was with me because he liked me and not because he wanted any girlfriend (he DID want a girlfriend but like me was waiting for the right person).

I used to be like my ex, going straight from one relationship to another (in fact my ex is incapable of being alone, doesn't break up with anyone until there was someone else lined up) and his need to have a woman on his arm was a big turn off for me - it's a big pressure in a relationship (ie keep him happy or he will look elsewehere).

Ten years on, and DH is the first man I have felt I completely trust not to cheat on me, as, unlike my ex, being adored by women is not what motivates him and inspires him in life.

Pages, I agree with the trust thing.
I am as positive as I could ever be that DP would not cheat on me because, to him, someone needs to be really, incredibly special to become involved with.

Oh, and DH was very keen with me very early on, which frightened me a bit at first but I took a gamble and it definitely paid off. I know that I am the only girl for him but whereas it was a bit intense in the beginning it now just makes me feel secure.