DV on male

[MistySkiesAfterRain]

My DB is seeing someone with bi-polar. She previously freaked out over a small incident (he broke something accidentally and told him to f*k off). He wanted to get back with her but I think this didn't happen and he said they were not seeing each other.

Recently he has started seeing her again. He has told another family member that she hit him. I'm not sure if this was at the time of the small incident or more recently.

My questions are:
Is this normal?
Is this likely to be a one-off?
Should he carry on seeing her or is this only going to end badly?
What is it like for a male who experiences DV? I'm worried that I should warn him to never hit her in the heat of the moment, because it would always be the man hit the woman and not the other way round.

How do I get him to see that she is out of order and this is not a good relationship? As soon as I say anything he will downplay it and I don't want him to stop telling my relative what happens.

My questions are:
Is this normal?
No, no and no again. The fact she is bi-polar is irrelevant. MH issues are no justification or excuse to abuse another person, particularly one she purports to love.

Is this likely to be a one-off?
No and its already escalating from verbal abuse to now physical violence.

Should he carry on seeing her or is this only going to end badly?
No he should not but he has started to see her again so again this is going to end badly for him. He will likely get hurt yet again. Tell him that the only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship, any relationship, is NONE.

I would point him in the direction of mankind too:-
www.mankind.org.uk/. This is a domestic abuse helpline for men and all calls to it are confidential.

Of course it's not normal to hit your partner in a relationship. It isn't likely to be a one off either - if that's how she responds when angered then it is likely to happen again, or already has. If she isn't independently addressing her behaviour with outside help then it is extremely unlikely to change.

I would imagine your DB is likely to try to minimise her behaviour and try to brush it off as not serious. But the risk is that she escalates, picks up a weapon rather than uses just her hands, and then the physical damage will be much more serious. Not to mention that being in fear of aggression in a relationship is not good for his own mental health. It goes without saying that he should definitely not retaliate in the same way, beyond what is necessary for self defence.

You could try giving him the details for Mankind, www.mankind.org.uk and their helpline 01823 334244, which is specifically for male victims of domestic abuse. It's very difficult to persuade someone that their relationship is not good for them. I would try to be there for him when he wants to talk about it, if he does talk about it with you. Try to keep communication channels with him open, whilst being clear that her behaviour towards him is not acceptable.

Thanks so much for your replies, they are really helpful. I've arranged to see him this weekend and will give him the helpline details and mention some of the points you've made. It's really hammered it home that it's not going to end well. It's quite hard for me as I have watched him go through a lot and he just came out to a good place and now this but I can just support him and hope it gets better.