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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

irrational wish for divorce

2 replies

Stig82 · 13/10/2021 06:52

Little back history , together 21 years married 18 , 2 DC 12 - 15 spent the last year getting the house ready to sell to get mortgage free [ been a 10 +year project] everything is done as a family and this year has been mad but realy happy year

Last Thursday we got a tax overpayment letter and we spoke on the phone in the afternoon , i returned home to an angry wife saying she wants me out , since then she has refused to talk just pure anger / defensive totaly out of character blocked me on SM

yesterday i went to talk to a friend of hers and found out she has been spreading lies about my behaviour being controlling ect , dont work or pay for anything [ all of this is so far from the truth]

returned home and our 15yr old said she had told him to F@@k off several times and sent lies about me via text , he was distraught so had to speak to him about things

she found out about this and started to text , said we can talk later

We had a talk it was all one sided from her that she has faked being happy or in love for the past 5 /10 years , doesn't want to live with me wants different things than me , she has a solicitors meeting tomorrow and that is it she does not care what the kids or i think she has made her mind up and that is final , mainly saying she wants to be independent

Feels like a mid life crisis or breakdown , she suffers from anxiety which has been bad this year and also had a hysterectomy years ago so dont know if this is real or just a major imbalance , we have been planning this move for years speaking to everyone we know ect , not once has she ever spoke to me about any of this or any hint of this sort of behaviour

sorry for a long post but i am at a loss , our eldest is a mess and she does not care youngest is oblivious to most of it so far

just realy cant bear the belief of what she is saying or what she is doing with no thought , and don't want her doing what we will all regret later

OP posts:
Stig82 · 14/10/2021 00:32

Just found out she has been to solisitors today , speaking to our eldest like crap just because he wants to talk , realy this is is hurting me now

OP posts:
TiddyTidTwo · 14/10/2021 00:36

Sorry to hear this OP. Must be a huge shock coming out of the blue like this. I'm wondering if she's had a mental health crisis, as she is treating your eldest like this too?

Hope things get better for you.

Have you suggested counselling?

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