Cheated on multiple times while pregnant

[Theunknown1234]

Before I start this I want to say I know how incredibly stupid I am. But to start the story right, I met a wonderful guy who treated me like a fairytale. We started dating, and boom I got pregnant. He was very supportive and actually excited. At 13 weeks pregnant I find out he’s been cheating with different women since day one. He cried about and said things were just moving fast and he didn’t know how to let go of his past. So like an idiot I forgave him and we went on throughout our pregnancy like we were a dream couple. I legit forgot about the other stuff and moved on. Now at 38 weeks pregnant I happen to look through his phone and see when he went on a work trip a few months before he met up with multiple women. Again me being stupid because I have no family support, thought I need him to assist me this birth and first few weeks of being a new mom. So I told him this was temporary and we were done after this. Well now here it is, my LO is 18 months, we are still together and I find out I’m pregnant again, that I discover he has cheated again. He knows I’m pregnant, even though I am only a few weeks, and all. In my mind I’m like that’s it this is over there is no saving this, but then I think. Do I really want to be a single mother of 2 under 2. I have confronted him and his only excuse is he just has this impulse to do it. Never does he plan it, but it just happens. At this point I don’t want to be single and alone with 2 babies, but I know I can’t keep dealing with that. Especially with him just saying it’s an impulse ..

Thoughts ?

This must be so difficult.
Do you work? Whatever you decide to do I would say it’s very important you can keep some sort of financial independence as this doesn’t sound a basis for stability long term and I would take a very cautious view and not rely on him either financially or emotionally . Your trust must be very damaged and at a time when you need to feel safe and supported.
I hope you have family and friends to support you in RL too and sorry I’m not more help as no real advice but I feel for you and hope things get easier somehow. It doesn’t sound as if he’ll mature or change so that’s one idea I would let go of or you’ll only be let down repeatedly I expect.

I'd go on my own there's no way you can trust him is there if your honest?

What on earth makes you think this is a good idea??

Myheart that maybe isn’t helpful as I’m sure OP is upset enough. Sometimes we want things to work out so much we aren’t able to see clearly enough, especially when have a child and want it to work . Even if it’s quite obvious now.

I think you're deluding yourself that you can just keep going all my with this cheating arsehole as if nothing is happening. What a horrible environment to raise a child in. If I were you, I would terminate the pregnancy and this relationship.

*along with. Sorry

He's told you who he is. If you stay, you're giving him permission.

Of course he plans to cheat, he's just in denial and so are you. At what point does it 'just happen'? When he messages them? When, miraculously, his trousers fall off and he accidentally engages in full, penetrative sex with these women?
Obviously this is nonsense. You're going to have to assume this will be your life if you choose to stay with him. There may well be further children of his you don't know about yet. He isn't going to change (he might tell you he will, or that you need to 'help' him - this is bollocks). So if you're OK with that, carry on and keep quiet, and if you're not OK with that, bin him now and decide about the new pregnancy yourself.

You could get the abortion medicine if you want to.

Regardless, you need to make plans to leave him.

You need to stop having babies with him for a start. He’s not going to stop cheating on you. Why would he? He keeps doing it and you keep staying with him, having sex with him and having his kids.
In honesty my sympathy is reserved for the children who are being raised in this unhappy relationship. You have choices. You just need to start making smart ones instead of getting yourself further tangled up and more dependent upon someone who has never been anything other than unreliable, unfaithful and uncommitted.

Honestly, I'd leave, terminate the pregnancy and get tested for STIs.

OP, in your thread last week, you said that you’d discovered him having sex with an OW and had finally ended things. You work 50+ hours a week in a high stress job, and were anxious about managing 2 under 2 as a single parent.

Did you reunite?

He is a sexually incontinent loser who has treated you and the children like garbage. He has no loyalty or decency, and has potentially exposed all of you to diseases.

It is utterly untenable to move forward with this unremorseful serial cheat who has no intention of changing because…impulses. Will you really subject yourself and your two children to an unstable home life full of anxiety and mistrust?

Sending you strength.

Isn’t it less stressful to be single than to be with someone who cheats?

From the outside perspective it might look better to appear like a happy family but that’s just a lie.

You say ‘he doesn’t plan it, it just happens’ do you mean his cheating or your pregnancies?????

He’s cheated on you multiple times. Surely this isn’t really good enough for you op?

Can you end the pregnancy? It probably makes sense and obviously end the relationship

@MrsTerryPratchett

He's told you who he is. If you stay, you're giving him permission.

🔔 🔔 🔔 🔔 🔔

@Theunknown1234

You simply need to decide 2 things.....

1. Do you want to keep the baby and have 2 children under 3yrs of age, even as a single parent if necessary ?
2. Will you ever be able to actually love him again after he has cheated on you so many times ?

If you really think you can love him and be able to not become an anxious, suspicious wreck whenever he goes out/away without you, then carry on as you are by all means.

But I suspect that you already do not love him and find it impossible to trust him, and in that case, you know it's already over for you. So you only need to decide about your pregnancy.

How have you been having sex with him when you know he's been elsewhere?! Get some self respect and leave his arse

Getting out and being a single mum of one child is easier than a single mum of two.
Carefully consider if this 2nd baby is what you want and can manage if/when you split up

He does it because he can. He knows younwont do anything. He doesnt have to think about it, weigh up the consequences, as he knows there will not be any.

Have you got any friends you could move in with? I don't think it's worth sticking with him just for the children. You're never going to be a happy family with him from the sounds of it.

It's up to you about the pregnancy really but you don't have to go through with it. Sounds tough, look after yourself.

Thank you everyone to your very honest words. I am completely self sufficient financially. I work a lot of hours, however I have no family or friend support. I’m fact the only person who helps with our first child is his mother. So I’m stuck there.

And I know this is why I referenced how incredibly stupid I am. I never been this woman, the woman who would even consider being with a human like this. But here I am.

You’ve said many things I needed to hear and I appreciate it.
It’s either respect myself or don’t. Simple