Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

How rude!!!

23 replies

Sarz1991 · 11/10/2021 21:27

Oh I'm having such a bad run of dates!!! I had a date with a guy I was chatting to online for a week but didn't have high hopes for as he's only 25 and I'm 30. When we met up tonight he turned out to be better looking than I thought and was pleasant for most of the date. However I got the vibe towards the end that he felt I had been rude a few times! I just felt he mistook what I said a few times when I was only trying to be humorous and finding something to say. And there was absolutely no filth or that kind of rudeness, I was just purely trying to make conversation. So after 40 mins we ended up running out of things to say, so just as I was taking my seatbelt off, I said 'It was nice meeting you' just out of pure politeness and he had the audacity to start half laughing and said "well will we meet again?". So I replied "ah maybe?" and then he said ah I think we're on different pages!! Like why ask if your going to say that??? Is it an ego boost or what???? Oh I just done with dating, I've no confidence left!!!

OP posts:

ExcitedtoTry · 11/10/2021 21:53

He sounds very odd.

I would be more picky when it comes to dates though. You said you didn’t have much hope because he was younger so not a great start for the date.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/10/2021 22:06

were you in his car? slightly off topic but you said "when I was taking my seatbelt off"

Justcallmebebes · 11/10/2021 22:10

Sorry off topic but did you go off in his car and you'd just met?

Original poster

Sarz1991 · 11/10/2021 22:17

Well the original plan was to meet, get a takeaway coffee and go for a short stroll but it was dark by the time I met him (he's a farmer) , so he pulled up as I was getting out of the car and I just got in, and he asked was there a McDonald's around so that we could get something, but there wasn't one near so we just went for a spin around the town chatting in his car. I don't see what was wrong with that really! Ah to be honest my confidence is shattered and something is telling me that I need to lower my standards looks wise, and all that was wrong with the date was that he didn't fancy me so maybe that was why he wasn't very pleasant towards the end. However maybe meeting for a coffee in a bar might have been a better idea as I do feel that my choice of what to do on a first date wouldn't be the best, but to be fair if your attracted to each other and get on well then it doesn't really matter!!!

OP posts:

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/10/2021 22:25

I'm quite shocked that you got in his car. Never mind, it's done now.

Do you do anything to meet potential boyfriends in real life? You might have more luck doing that than online dating.

PornStarQuarantini · 11/10/2021 22:27

OMFG! Think this is the third thread describing women having no self respect and putting themselves in danger! Going to a stranger's house, getting in a stranger's car? What is wrong with you? Please do not do that. You are worth more than a McDonald's drive through! If these men can't make an effort date #1 then they never will. You are worth more than that. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

DivorceAdvicePlease123 · 11/10/2021 22:31

You don't see what was wrong with getting into a car with a stranger? Please don't do this again.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 11/10/2021 22:41

God, don't ever get in his car on a first date. Jesus, honestly feel lucky that the only bad thing was him not liking you. He could lock the doors and take you ANYWHERE.

For first dates, meet in a public place (so not for a walk), tell a friend where you're going, and arrange to check in with them after a certain time. If you don't check in, they call the place you're at. If the staff can't find you, they call police.

This isn't victim blaming. There are a lot of dangerous men out there and sadly we have to take safety precautions.

tickertock · 11/10/2021 22:46

He didn't like your response of maybe, probably wasn't the best thing to say if you actually want a second date.
He does sound a bit too immature anyway take away coffee and a drive to McDonald's is a very low effort date.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 11/10/2021 22:46

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

God, don't ever get in his car on a first date. Jesus, honestly feel lucky that the only bad thing was him not liking you. He could lock the doors and take you ANYWHERE.

This isn't victim blaming. There are a lot of dangerous men out there and sadly we have to take safety precautions.

This. I'm surprised you don't see what is dangerous about getting into the car of a stranger OP. If a guy drove up to you and asked you to get in his car, would you do so if you thought he was good looking? Of course not, because it's not safe. You don't know someone from online dating any more than you know a man in the street.

Winniemarysarah · 11/10/2021 22:47

So instead of taking you to a coffee shop he had you sit in his car for a McDonald’s, but then just drove around when he couldn’t find one. And was also rude (and arrogant IMO). I think you need to up your standards

Winniemarysarah · 11/10/2021 22:48

@tickertock

He didn't like your response of maybe, probably wasn't the best thing to say if you actually want a second date. He does sound a bit too immature anyway take away coffee and a drive to McDonald's is a very low effort date.

Even lower than that considering she didn’t even get either of them

TopCatsTopHat · 11/10/2021 22:54

The way he ended meeting you was lacking in basic courtesy. Don't blame you for feeling put out about it. But as other pp have said it wasn't the only thing that would be best if it didn't happen again.
Onwards and upwards eh.

ExcitedtoTry · 11/10/2021 22:54

Jesus. I assumed it was a taxi. Please take your safety more serious

AND

Driving round for a mcdonalds… do you want that in a partner? Raise your standards.

The right person is out there but please please be safe.

Lilolily · 11/10/2021 23:24

Yes, it’s dangerous to get into a strangers car but I think describing people who do as having “no self respect” is a bit far!

It’s daft and dangerous. Don’t do it.

MiddlesexGirl · 11/10/2021 23:27

Don't get in a stranger's car again.

Yes he was a bit off but he was trying to save face after you knocked him back. To be fair to him, you knocked him back first.

notHarris · 11/10/2021 23:27

Ah to be honest my confidence is shattered and something is telling me that I need to lower my standards looks wise,

You don't need to lower your standards at all.
As a very minimum you should expect a properly arranged meet up for coffee or a bite to eat..... vaguely driving around looking for McDonald's is not what you deserve (and as pp said, dangerous)
Always put yourself in a situation where you can leave if people start being rude to you and don't be afraid to say "nice to meet you but we didn't click"
Basically work on your self-esteem and expect to be treated decently before you go on a date again,

bestsoupintown · 11/10/2021 23:29

@PornStarQuarantini

Hey! You can give safety advice without being like that. Don't accuse other women of having no self respect ffs.

todaysdilemma · 11/10/2021 23:31

He's obv a weirdo if his idea of a date is to drive around and go to macdonalds! Why did you even agree to a date that wasn't a location with a drink or meal attached.

And you absolutely should not be getting into a stranger's car OP!!! He could have been a nut job and robbed/assaulted/kidnapped you. If you will be dating online, please put your safety first. Pick public locations and get there and back yourself. And definitely have them pick a venue and time that suits you. If they can't, don't meet them.

BlueSlate · 12/10/2021 06:43

I don't see what was wrong with that really!

You know the rule about not getting into cars with strangers that is drummed into you as a child? Well it applies to adults too.

Do you not understand why that is?

Halfpace · 12/10/2021 06:58

Don’t get into a total stranger’s car. Better still, don’t go on a date where you haven’t actually pre-arranged an indoor venue for coffee or a drink when you presumably already know it’s too dark to go for a walk.

thecatsarecrazy · 12/10/2021 07:22

Ah just put it behind you op. Don't let it get to you.
I must be silly too I've got in a man's car, and 2 other guys vans. 😳 Was probably silly but I'm still alive.
He's probably a little imature at 25. Make sure you suggest a decent meeting place next time.

ErrmWTAF · 12/10/2021 09:28

Just chiming in with "don't get into a stranger's car" and "meet in a public place" PPs.

And I'll add this: for every foolish woman who doesn't look after her safety, there's going to be one more man who thinks the cautious among us are being unreasonable.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread