My husband dropped his friends years ago and he has nothing to do with his family. He now works at home since the pandemic and his employer has made this a permanent thing. I already worked at home because I freelance. He goes to a book club once a month, but apart from that I am literally never alone in the house. He doesn't count the book-club members as friends and he will never stay for a drink after they've discussed the book as the rest of them do. I have lots of friends and interests that take me out of the house, but sometimes I'd just like some time in the house on my own without hearing his ever-there presence - the TV, his stomping and sighing.
If I close a door behind me (e.g. if I'm reading in the snug or in the bath, I close the door so I can't hear the TV that he has on all the time, or if I'm in my office I keep the door closed so I can't hear him on his work calls), he will always, without fail, find a reason to come into the room, and then leave the door open on his way back out. If I ask him to close the door behind him, he always frowns and sighs very loudly and exaggeratedly. I find this so unpleasant that I've stopped asking him to close the door and I wait until he's gone, then quietly close it myself. He wants to watch TV every night, whereas I don't - sometimes I want to read or do some drawing or something, but if I say this, he always asks why can't I do it in the same room as him (the reason is because the TV is distracting, but also I just want some time on my own as well sometimes) or he'll pull a 'jokey' sulky pouty face and say sarcastically 'oh that's nice'. Or, he'll give it half an hour, then come and join me in whatever room I'm in, sit next to me, and scroll through his phone.
He cares very deeply about furniture, decor and clothes. He watches what I do in the house and corrects things I do. For example, if I put the box of teabags on the kitchen counter, he'll lift it up to put a protective mat under it. Or he'll pretend he's admiring the knife I'm using and come to look at it (when in reality I know it's because he wants to make sure none of the veg I'm chopping have fallen off the chopping board onto the worktop). If he thinks one of us might have damaged something, he goes nuts, even if he can't see any damage with his naked eye, so he'll do things like get a torch to inspect it. I never do things to his standards - I apparently do gardening wrong, cleaning wrong, bedmaking wrong, washing wrong.
He doesn't like us using things in case we damage them, so the kitchen worktops are covered in lots of protective mats (so we can hardly see any of the worktop now) and the settees are covered in protective throws. And he gets really tense when we have visitors in case they damage something.
If I try discussing anything with him, he either denies whatever I say (even stupid things that are obviously true - it's his default position to just deny anything I say. I could point out his grey hair and he'd deny it's grey), or he gets really defensive, or more often than not he just walks away and refuses to discuss anything with me, going completely silent on me. He literally never gets riled or worked up. He likes to ignore me when I ask something of him, and if I repeat myself, he'll just say really dismissively and calmly, "yeah I heard you", but then he won't comment any further. He also makes things up about me. For example, he was sorting out our important documents and I asked him to leave mine alone and I would sort them myself, and he told me that I had lost my driving licence once so I shouldn't do the sorting and should let him do it. I know for a fact that I've never lost my driving licence, but he was so adamant that I started believing him. He could tell me I'm spelling my name wrong and he'd be so believable that I'd doubt how my own name is spelt.
I'm 20 years into this marriage, and now I'm perimenopausal, and suddenly I'm just drained by it. We're currently not talking to each other at all after he was snappy with me on Saturday all day but wouldn't tell me what the issue was. He does that a lot - snapping and frowning at me, but if I ask him what's wrong he says "nothing" every single time. I really fucking hate the silent treatment - I think it's a pathetic game and really manipulative, but I can't be arsed trying to engage with him anymore, so I'm just not bothering. I know I'm in the wrong not talking to him, but I'm exhausted by him and actually it's quite nice not having to talk to him and listen to him go on about how his work colleagues have wronged him this week.