If your DP/spouse works away a lot...

[m1shap3]

Do you work full time?
DH has had to start regular working away. I work full time and feeling it, everything being on me. DC hobbies as well as obviously the school runs, the pets, the cooking, blah blah blah.
But when I think about others in the same boat, people I know or know of, I realise the one who isn't working away is part time.
If you work full time, how do you feel? Do you think they appreciate or understand that everything is on you? My DH works hard while he's away, I get that, but once he finishes work his meals are made for him ( a restaurant or takeaway), no beds to make, washing to do, homework or reading books, etc. An early night in the hotel if he wants, or being in the pub for something to do.
I'll admit I'm starting to feel resentful...

Do you actually want to go part time or is this just a reaction to the fact that your DH works away a lot? Would you resent this more in the future if it meant your career suffered?

Has he considered making changes to his working pattern or career in the same way you are? You're both parents do I don't see why it's you that has to make all the changes.

DH worked away a lot when the DC were small. I don't think I could have managed working FT without substantial help like a Nanny or housekeeper. I did supply teaching so had the odd 'burst' of full time hours but knew I could let some things slide until I had some time off to catch up.

I did sometimes feel resentful that DH never really knew what it was like to be the one at home as although he did loads when he was at home he always had me for backup where as I was on my own.

I agree with PPs with thinking what can be delegated to DH to do remotely, like online shopping. Also, when our DCs were older, DH would sometimes with them while I got on with something for half an hour.

My husband has worked away since 2008. Mostly mon-fri and home at weekend but also has done periods abroad for up to 12-18 months with very little leave at home. In 2008 our girls were 10 and 12, I have always worked full time and had an 80 mile commute. Did he appreciate it all fell to me? Not enough if I am being completely honest. Him being in Afghan for 18 months when they were 13 and 15 was a particular low point and I personally had many days when I would have swopped with him in a heartbeat. But overall it worked for us. We got into a rhythm, we enjoyed him being home and I cannot deny that his work was (is) very well paid so we all enjoyed the benefit of that including some fabulous holidays. One of the thing that really helped was getting a cleaner. I know it’s a bit of a mn cliche but it meant I didn’t feel all the housework was down to me and it meant when he was home at weekend we could both relax. I was wondering how it would be in retirement if I could cope with him being home 24/7 but it wasn’t too bad over lockdown, so I think we will survive.

My husband has worked away a lot during our 20+ years together. It is very irregular but at least half of his time has been spent elsewhere, it has also included moving to new countries a few times so that has messed up my career completely as I have had years of not being able to work as I have not known the local language well enough. I have also worked full time and part time in between. For me part time has been the preferred way. Full time was too much in the long run and I was always feeling guilty for not having the time, and not working was so boring that I wouldn't want to do that again. Working 20-30 hours a week is perfect for me.