A bit of background... 45 years old, separated from my DH amicably a year and a half ago, and had a FWB for about a year after that with great, hot sex and lovely friendship. I unfortunately ended up developing feelings for my FWB and tried to be just friends a number of times, until he decided to go back to his ex wife and I had a hard time, but that gave me the kick in the arse I needed to get over him.
I started OLD 5 months ago. In the beginning it was really just a distraction from my FWB. I met lots of men, many of them even decent, but nothing really developed. The only one I was attracted to ended up disclosing a history of sexual abuse for which he was convicted and did time in jail! I ran away from that one pretty soon. Apart from that, a bunch of nice guys, but I did not develop a spark for any of them. I ended up closing my OLD accounts because not only I realised OLD was not for me (I am more of a slow burner and can't really develop feelings for someone I have dated one-on-one a bunch of times) and, the more I got over my FWB, the more I realised I didn't really need a relationship!
I love my single life. I have lots of friends, great hobbies, a fantastic social life, my own house and dog, my own professional job in which I am good at and which I enjoy. A man would have to be pretty much perfect in order to make me want to change anything.
For over a year I have been a member of a local MeetUp group with more than 500 members. They meet regularly for a variety of events, from coffee meetups to hiking and other sporty activities. It is very relaxed and informal, and every time there will be between 5 and 12 members coming to different events. I enjoy taking part in the activities and organise some myself, and some of the members have become good friends that I meet for dog walks or hikes separately from the group.
There was this guy, let's call him Mr Gentleman, who I had met the very first time I joined the group for a short walk. I remember thinking he looked like an interesting person, but I never really got to have a proper one-on-one conversation with him despite seeing him on and off in some meetings. He is a bit older than me (in his 50s).
About 2 months ago we were together in a dinner event with another 7-8 group members and got talking with him for a short time, nice conversation in which it came up that he had bought a van and was converting it into a campervan. I was quite interested as I have my own campervan and love camping and hiking trips. He mentioned I could stop by his place anytime and he could show me what he was doing in it. Time went on and I was quite busy, so didn't see him again.
One day out of the blue I got a messenger message from him (he was not my FB friend) mentioning that another 2 members of the group, who are also friends of mine, were stopping by his place for a coffee and to see the campervan, and asked me if I'd like to join in. I was unfortunately busy that day so couldn't go, but it did pique my curiosity and that is the first time I consciously thought "darn, I would have liked to go and have the chance to talk to him again!".
About 5 weeks ago I went to another event - a lunch at a popular cafe - and got talking with him and another 3-4 people. He had to leave early but he did approach me and say his offer to see the campervan was still up, and this time we did agree on a date and time. I went to his place and was very impressed by the work he did. He had completely built the whole inside of the campervan: furniture, bed, plumbing, lights, everything. He also builds his own furniture and has created some impressive art with wood. That day we got talking for several hours, he made me coffee and I left that evening thinking "I really like this guy and would love to see him again!".
Cue some days later, when another event was organised for a morning coffee at a local cafe. Only 3 members went: him, myself and the group organiser, who happens to be a friend of both of us. We had a great morning chatting and laughing. The event organiser left, and Mr Gentleman and I went on talking until we literally were kicked out because the place had to close. When I was putting on my jacket and getting ready to leave, Mr Gentleman said: "Hey Aurynne, I was thinking... would you like to come with me on a date?".
I think i went all colours of the rainbow and he managed to leave me speechless for the first time. I flustered about and ended up saying "erm... let me think about it and I will call you back". I walked back to my car with such a stupid smile on my face that a random friend saw me from her car and later texted me "Hey Aurynne, I saw you walking down with a big smile down Hills Road this afternoon!".
So I said yes to the date. He picked me up on the day and his eyes lit up when I turned up in a lovely dress (he had only seen me in jeans and a top or hiking clothes so far!". We went to watch a French movie and again, we did not stop talking and laughing together. I woke up the following day to a message saying: "I had to wake up at 5 am for work and the first thing I thought was how beautiful you looked yesterday". Cue another stupid smile all day that even my colleagues noticed.
We have been dating now for 3 weeks, so still very early days. But I am thoroughly enjoying the whole experience, and most of all I am loving how naturally everything is developing. No more swapping left and right. No more waiting to see if the random man I swiped right on will answer my message. No repetitive introductions and "where are you from" and "what do you do" and "do you have any pets" and "what hobbies do you have". No awkward one-on-one dates where I have to try to show the best of me in 1 hour to someone I don't know. No more trying to decide whether or not I want to see a stranger again. No wondering whether I need to "stop dating others" or of the person I quite like is seeing another 5 women and will choose one of the other 4 over me. I don't miss any of that shit!
So I just wanted to share a nice story and give you, women in their 40s and over, hope that there are some men out there in real life, and that "traditional" meeting and romance are not completely dead! I have no idea if Mr Gentleman will be a keeper or not, what I know is, even if this does not work, I have no intention of going back into the OLD nightmare again.
Any other lovely stories to share?