I can feel my relationship slowly coming to an end.

[sophiellxo]

Me and my partner have a little girl who will be 5 months in a couple of weeks she hardly sleeps at night so I am always shattered my parter works late and normally doesn't get home to 8 every night. I feel like we hardly see or spend time with each other because as soon as he comes in he'll bath our little girl and let me go to bed it's repeated every day. Theirs not really much affection anymore we hardly ever kiss. Has anyone else experienced this?, should I break up with him or try to work on it?

However, only you will know if this is a genuine concern or whether it's part of your pattern of overthinking.

If you suspect that there is some overthinking at play, I'd ride it out for a few weeks. If you give him something concrete to respond to itight be a different conversation to just telling him ypu think he's only there for the baby.

The bottom line is, he can't prove what he is thinking or feeling to you.

Is there something in what he is doing/saying that is making younfeel like this or is it just the situation with his ex?

What does he do when you go in for a cuddle or a kiss? If he reciprocates then no problem but if he pulls away then there is a problem. Could you try staying up for an hour or two with him in the evenings a couple of times a week?. He’s probably fed up with working all day then when he sees you you disappear off to bed. It’s hard but with a little bit of give on each side it should get easier

I think I'm going to go again some of the other posters and say don't bring it up with him again for a bit. Not to negate how you're feeling, but it must be frustrating for him to constantly be reassuring you if you don't believe him. It sounds like you're in a downward cycle of misunderstandings and bad feelings, and overanalysis. It's pretty normal after having a baby to feel like everything's changed, but it doesn't mean that the essential underlying feelings he has for you have.

I agree with @RubyKitty - how does he react to you being affectionate? Could you occasionally stay up a bit later? Could you nap at the weekend while he has the baby, then stay up with him?

My advice would be to give it at least 2-3 weeks without any fraught conversations. Every time you start thinking about it, dismiss it from your mind as much as possible. Try to portion off a little couple time, even if that just measn sitting next to each otheron the sofa for half an hour in silence watching tv, before you go up to bed.

I don't mean to make this all your fault, and for it to be all about appeasing him, or changing to suit him. I'm just suggesting a trial to see if a change in your behaviour changes his behaviour too. If at the end of a short period of trying not to discuss how you feel and feeling like his reasurances aren't enough, you still feel the same - that he doesn't love you any more - reassess tactics.

I have read your updates and a few things stand out - your emotions are all over the place, and your natural tendency is to overanalyse.

Very gently, I would suggest that some of these challenges are in the dark spaces of your imagination , rather than in your DP’s mind.

Also, do you maybe have some PND? Do you feel you could talk to your GP ?💐 for you.

@Quickchangeartiste

I have read your updates and a few things stand out - your emotions are all over the place, and your natural tendency is to overanalyse.

Very gently, I would suggest that some of these challenges are in the dark spaces of your imagination , rather than in your DP’s mind.

Also, do you maybe have some PND? Do you feel you could talk to your GP ?💐 for you.

I thought at the beginning of my baby being born I did I really struggled when she was first born I told my health visitor but she seemed to think it was all normal

@SilverGlassHare

I think I'm going to go again some of the other posters and say don't bring it up with him again for a bit. Not to negate how you're feeling, but it must be frustrating for him to constantly be reassuring you if you don't believe him. It sounds like you're in a downward cycle of misunderstandings and bad feelings, and overanalysis. It's pretty normal after having a baby to feel like everything's changed, but it doesn't mean that the essential underlying feelings he has for you have.

I agree with @RubyKitty - how does he react to you being affectionate? Could you occasionally stay up a bit later? Could you nap at the weekend while he has the baby, then stay up with him?

My advice would be to give it at least 2-3 weeks without any fraught conversations. Every time you start thinking about it, dismiss it from your mind as much as possible. Try to portion off a little couple time, even if that just measn sitting next to each otheron the sofa for half an hour in silence watching tv, before you go up to bed.

I don't mean to make this all your fault, and for it to be all about appeasing him, or changing to suit him. I'm just suggesting a trial to see if a change in your behaviour changes his behaviour too. If at the end of a short period of trying not to discuss how you feel and feeling like his reasurances aren't enough, you still feel the same - that he doesn't love you any more - reassess tactics.

If I am affectionate to him he won't pull away or reject me I think it's probably more my problems than his.