If your mother is 80/90years old, how does she treat you?

[PaneTostato]

In particular, how does she treat you compared to any male siblings?

I’m male & my mother Is 81, and she probably asks more of me than my sister, probably because I visit her more and pay her more attention.

Not quite the same but MIL is 81. She favours her DD over DH and always has. And SIL DC over ours.
She'll expect SIL to do a lot more 'caring' as she gets older but that's only reasonable because SIL has been prioritised over DH and had the vast vast majority of financial and practical help over the years.

Mine is in her nineties. I've always been expected to do the caring, cleaning etc. If a man wants a cup of tea she would expect me to jump up and make it

90s.

She's lovely. And treats her offspring pretty similarly.

It's been DBro who did a huge amount (the most by far) of all of us during covid. In the past, we were all expected to get a good education, and a proper career. And not do the housework, because study/reading/playing were more important (she believed we'lpd all pick it up when we needed to)

Don't have any male siblings.

My mother is over 100. She has always favoured DS (younger) and I have just ignored it. Everyone in the family except her realises this. No matter how much I have done for her - and she does acknowledge this - DS is the one she worries about and fussies over. She’s not about to change now and I don’t let it affect my mental health.

My mum is 79 and my dad is 84. They treat me the same as my brother.

My parents are still in pretty good health; as they decline I do expect to be doing more for them (in terms of providing care) than my brother. This is mainly because they were extremely helpful with childcare when my DC were little and I feel immensely grateful for that. They didn't help my brother nearly as much because he lived further away and he didn't have his own children (he has a stepdaughter and they did help out a bit - but of course she has her own grandparents).

Late 80s. I’m the person she sees the most of and I think she sees me as part of her peer group. My similar-aged brothers are asked to do anything physical, particularly gardening and running repairs to the house, which absolves me of a lot of work.

I no longer worry about who she favours or doesn’t favour, just how we manage the responsibilities. I’m my own person now and whilst I enjoy her approval when I have it, I pay no more attention to her opinion than that of a long-standing friend. In turn, she doesn’t try to tell me how to live my life.

Not quite the same but MIL is 81. She favours her DD over DH and always has. And SIL DC over ours.

@cptartapp It's the same with my PIL. They have no interest in DH or our DC, but worship SIL and her DC. It's so sad, because DH is lovely. As are our DC.