Building good relationships with your children - advise me? DD aged 4

[SarahAndQuack]

I would just like some parenting tips/advice on what you think are normal expectations/patterns of interaction, with a child who's just started school?

For example, what happens in the morning when they're getting ready? How quick are they to do what they're asked to do, and how do you communicate to them what's needed?

What sorts of things do you expect them to do independently? What things do they do that you tell them off for?

I'm asking because I am very conscious I don't have great models for parenting a child this age. My parents were quite abusive, and a lot of that began when I was this age, so I find it hard to get a sense of what would be normal parenting.

Thanks for reading!

Good on you for doing the groundwork early!

Individual children vary, but at 4 She will likely need to be both instructed and helped to.brush teeth, hair, and get dressed and get her school stuff ready. This helps her learn how to do these things and if you can practice patience while helping her, she'll find them less stressful and might enjoy feeling grownup as she learns to do them.

the following general principles will help:

• have a regular morning routine. Your child should have consistency about what happens and when - e.g., getting up and having breakfast, teeth, hair, dressing, etc, in what sort of order. Be flexible as needed, but kids really need predictable routines.

It.is good to make time to pause, cuddle her and listen to her if she seems upset - that will save you time in the long run.

• if she's not complying, it's helpful to distract or move on to a different task (change the order around, make a game out of it etc) rather than telling off (unless she's done something unsafe). It's more effective to reward positive behaviour with attention and say things like "that was great how you pit your shoes on" than to make a big deal out of negative behaviour.

There are some good tips here and you might find other useful age-appropriate stuff in the Preschoolers section.
raisingchildren.net.au/preschoolers/family-life/routines-rituals-rules/new-routines