Fabswingers question- guy must think I’m stupid

Notanotherchange · 2021-10-10T20:51:49+00:00

Ok been seeing a guy off a dating app, for nearly 2 months. We see each other every other day pretty much. Early on I was told he had a girlfriend, I asked and he denied it. Anyway one of my friends on Fab, saw his and his girlfriend’s couple profile. Last log on 3 hours ago. And had a verification 6 hours ago. I asked him about this he said it’s an old profile with someone he used to see…got all emotional, said had feelings for me and wants to continue and still spend time with me etc etc. It’s still active isn’t it? Like how do the verifications work? I know the profile is run by the girl but still, he thinks I’m an idiot doesn’t he?

Eesha · 10/10/2021 22:17

Yes still active. Just cut and run, what a prat!

MMmomDD · 10/10/2021 23:13

Hard to tell.
Even if he were in an open relationship with someone - not sure he’d be able to see you every other day.
It is more likely that at least part of his story is true and he was on Fab with her before you. She was probably FWB, or it was some sort of open arrangement.
What’s bit totally clear is if they are still seeing each other.
Easiest way to find out is to make a Fab profile and approach them. Or just ask your friend who is already there. See what happens.

On the other note - you have been dating for a very short time. Have you already agreed on being exclusive?

Original poster

Notanotherchange · 11/10/2021 23:20

No we haven’t agreed on that. But I did ask specifically if he had a girlfriend or anything and he said no.

The reviews on there of them go back to 2016 so a bit long for just fwb

He has told me especially after I confronted him that he has feelings for me and wants to be with me.

OP posts:

RantyAunty · 12/10/2021 01:28

He's lying.

Surely if it was just the woman on there, she would have removed him from the profile.

There's no use asking people these things as they will lie about it.

I caught a friend's bf cheating when he told me he was single but had a roommate who moving out soon. Implying the roommate was a guy.

This is while she was sitting in the same room he was typing the lies.

MMmomDD · 12/10/2021 02:04

You have only known each other for a few weeks. So, quite early foe any declarations, really.

As to his profile on Fab and it’s duration - it doesn’t mean that he is in any sort of relationship with her. Just means they created the profile in 2016 and played with others on the website. It doesn’t say anything about their relationship outside of Fab.
I have friends that are on a similar website, and there are many ‘couples’ on there, that have joint profiles but don’t have a relationship in a traditional sense. It’s sort of like a joint ‘hobby’ for them. And there is a degree of familiarity, security, convenience involved in having a joint profile.

Anyway. The only way to find out if he is keeping that option open for himself is to contact his profile and see if there is an interest and a reply.
But you seem reluctant to do so. Why?

The other thing to think about is whether or not you are interested in swinging yourself. Because, in my experience - someone who has been on that scene for many years, it seems, is likely to miss it eventually. He may be into you now, and may even think that he is done with that. But it may change over time.

GertietheGherkin · 12/10/2021 02:12

Do you really want or need any of this hassle?
It all sounds very shady and complicated. Dodgy profiles? Possible others involved relationshipwise? Uncertainty of truthful answers? It all seems quite 'busy' for a new relationship.

Duckypoohs · 12/10/2021 02:45

Fab is mental. On brief foray onto there I had many messages the most entertaining one was a guy who wanted to pay me £50 to go to a bird auction with him, then shag in his van . I would not believe a word. Depends what you are after.

SmellyOldOwls · 12/10/2021 02:50

God are we really not supposed to expect that someone we have been seeing for two months could not have another woman on the scene

Duckypoohs · 12/10/2021 02:51

BTW of course it is active, even polyamouras blokes seem to want secret bits on the side, despite having other partners in the open. Blokes gonna bloke.

Duckypoohs · 12/10/2021 02:54

*polyamorous

Smife38 · 09/01/2023 22:44

You want to know meet up

Aussiegirl123456 · 09/01/2023 22:49

I was on FAB years ago. It’s a cess pit of humanity. It’s good for meeting for NSA fun but I wouldn’t date any of the men on there.

The couples account could be one he’s set up with another FWB rather than a girlfriend. I had a few of these, yes plural. But he could just tell you this rather than lie. And yes, FWB relationships can last a long time, sometimes decades.

However, I’m a firm believer in trusting your instincts. If your gut is telling you something, listen. Stay safe :)

Smife38 · 09/01/2023 22:58

Yeah I’ve a great believe myself

wizzywig · 09/01/2023 22:59

@Duckypoohs and did you take up the offer? Is your username a hint that you did?

Frankensteinisamonster · 09/01/2023 23:02

I think maybe you’ve misunderstood what fab is, if you think it’s a dating app op

rwalker · 09/01/2023 23:11

If you have a couples profile on fab not sure you can make it a single profile if they split

seen a few couple profiles and in summary says they are now single
mid you delete and start again you lose your verifications

according to a friend

SLS500 · 09/01/2023 23:29

Can't you set up an account and see for yourself? presumably you could create a fake profile and try and engage- or get your friend to.
Only way to really find out.

Gorganzolabrie · 09/01/2023 23:34

Zombie thread

altmember · 09/01/2023 23:45

Could be a jilted ex who's kept his pics on the profile just to be a bitch. And yes, it does happen. I know a woman who's done this - uploaded a very clear face pic of her ex (also female) to her Fab profile for no discernible reason. So it's plausible, but there are plenty of other plausible (and even less palatable) explanations. Would anyone willingly upload a clear face picture to a swingers site? I'm no prude, but I certainly wouldn't. Fab has comprehensive privacy settings so there's no need to have anything identifiable in public view.

If he has no way of accessing the account himself, not that easy to resolve. I guess he'd need to contact the website owners and request that his photos are removed, you'd hope they'd oblige.

Are you saying you've had other independent claims that he still has a girlfriend though? It's pretty damning when you put it all together. And do you really want a relationship with someone who's has a long history of swinging? Is he likely to give that up for you, or try and draw you into it? Is this one really worth the hassle?

aurynne · 10/01/2023 02:17

SmellyOldOwls · 12/10/2021 02:50

God are we really not supposed to expect that someone we have been seeing for two months could not have another woman on the scene

Perhaps not when we met that person in a website that specifically caters for people who are in open relationships, swingers or poly, or into kinky sex.

btx · 13/01/2023 21:02

Does anyone know if received messages delete after a certain amount of time?

Flounder2022 · 13/01/2023 21:38

btx · 13/01/2023 21:02

Does anyone know if received messages delete after a certain amount of time?

Yes if you have not subscribed. No if you have.

Smife38 · 13/01/2023 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

brodarac · 29/05/2024 10:23

altmember · 09/01/2023 23:45

Could be a jilted ex who's kept his pics on the profile just to be a bitch. And yes, it does happen. I know a woman who's done this - uploaded a very clear face pic of her ex (also female) to her Fab profile for no discernible reason. So it's plausible, but there are plenty of other plausible (and even less palatable) explanations. Would anyone willingly upload a clear face picture to a swingers site? I'm no prude, but I certainly wouldn't. Fab has comprehensive privacy settings so there's no need to have anything identifiable in public view.

If he has no way of accessing the account himself, not that easy to resolve. I guess he'd need to contact the website owners and request that his photos are removed, you'd hope they'd oblige.

Are you saying you've had other independent claims that he still has a girlfriend though? It's pretty damning when you put it all together. And do you really want a relationship with someone who's has a long history of swinging? Is he likely to give that up for you, or try and draw you into it? Is this one really worth the hassle?

You're absolutely right. There are many possibilities for why his pictures might still be on the swingers site, and some are more concerning than others.
Here's a breakdown of your points and some additional thoughts:

Jilted Ex: It's a possibility, but contacting the site is the best course of action for removal.
Privacy Concerns: Using clear face pictures on a swingers site is uncommon, especially with privacy settings available.
Contacting the Site: This is his best bet. Most swingers sites have policies regarding user-generated content and will likely remove identifiable information upon request.

source: Fnaf Games

MyGiddyPoet · 14/06/2024 01:49

That's sketchy as heck! If he's still logging in and getting verified on a couple profile with his supposed ex, something's fishy. Trust your gut on this one. If he's all emotional and confessing feelings, but still keeping active with his ex on the down-low, it's time to bounce.

I've been there, caught a guy pulling the same stunt. That's when I realized I deserved better. Ended up finding someone way cooler on AFF, no drama, just fun times. Trust me, there are way better options out there.