Has anyone’s marriage ended because they are or their partner didn’t want to be a parent full time?

[Rintyo1]

Maybe a bit of a taboo subject but my marriage ended last year very suddenly. My ex husband said it was because the relationship had run its course for him but I truly believe it was because he didn’t want to be a parent full time. We have young twins and they are challenging at times for sure. My husband in particularly struggled to adjust to our new life together and the sacrifices having young children meant to had to make (less time at his hobby, less time to himself, less money, less sleep). The break up came when they were just turned 1 and throughout the break up he made reference to this not being the life he wanted etc (despite years of fertility treatment) although he maintains that the main reason he left was because of our relationship breaking down.
Has anyone experienced this? I don’t imagine anyone would say outright they don’t want to have their children with them every day but I think people have maybe considered it? Young children are hard, no doubt.

I've considered ending my marriage so I didn't have to be a full time parent. I hate parenting most of the time.

Maybe it's the twin dynamic as you literally don't get any time off - mine don't nap at the same time so none of that bullshit "sleep when they sleep" advice would work. I find having the twins easier than when I had first child because I'm more confidant as a mother now but I know DH finds it much harder - probably because I only have one pair of hands for cuddles, nappies, soothing etc so when he's here he has to parent too whereas with DD when she was a baby all she wanted was me really and I could give her what she needed 100% of the time - including co sleeping/sleeping on me so I don't think he really had much of a parenting input in the first couple of years even

This is why my parents broke up. I think it's really common.

Meant to say I'm a twin.

I strongly considered it when mine were young. Oddly, they are grown up now and the urge to leave and just have time and life to myself has come back really strong.

I think a lot of it is not wanting to hur children at such a young age and the practicalities of work/finances etc.

Now I think I could leave, my wife can have the house, I can pick myself up a little somewhere on savings and even on 50% pension when I get there in 15 years I am fine.

So now those practicalities have swung from keeping me in to possibly enabling me to go

The biological father of my dd did this - 3 days after she was born. A planned pregnancy after marriage of 7 years.

He said he didn’t want to be a father, as he wouldn’t be very good at it.

dd and I never seen him since and that was 18 years ago. His loss.

I'd love 50/50 with my ex. Sadly he's another one who doesn't even do eow any more. It's all too inconvenient, expensive etc. I think the less they see them, the more it feels like an optional add on, whereas the RP, or two parents still together have to organise life round the children. I know my non divorced friends do envy me the 'time off' I get in the school holidays and it is blissful but it comes at an awfully big cost. Even now they are 10 & 12, I'm still very limited in what I can do in terms of a social life / exercise etc.