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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So confused

4 replies

BuildingBlocks1 · 10/10/2021 01:45

Background, been with partner/fiancé 7 years. One child who is 2. He is the most supportive, kindest man I've ever known, & he loves me.

When we first met, I was so overwhelmed by what an absolute gentleman he was, I never really thought about whether I found him attractive. His personality was the attractive thing for me.

Fast forward 7 years, & a night out after a good 2 years of no outings, due to Panny D. I go out, meet this gorgeous guy. And I want him to fancy me. Now I would never 'do' anything, I couldn't do it to DP but I WANT to. I think about it. I'm confused & annoyed at myself. We have a lovely home (his) an amazing child & live relatively comfortably. But I don't find him physically attractive. It's panicking me I can be so attracted to someone else (I know who the other guy is, he's a local guy but our paths have never crossed before, but I have always thought he was gorgeous) but who would probably treat me like crap. I know even in the most successful marriages, people maybe fancy other people, but surely find their OH attractive? I love my partner but I do not find him hot. I don't know whether this is normal or if it requires action. Anyone ever felt the same?

OP posts:
Strangevipers · 10/10/2021 01:48

Looks fade

And

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

If you don't find him attractive that's a shame because otherwise he is everything you want.

Possibly this is just a panic after being lockdown for so long plus it's normal to find other people attractive outside of your relationship it's those who don't act on it and respect their partners are the truly beautiful ones

BuildingBlocks1 · 10/10/2021 07:34

@Strangevipers You're so right. Even though I haven't acted on how I feel with said person, just knowing I find him attractive enough to write a thread on here about it full of panic makes me feel guilty.

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 10/10/2021 08:00

You’re having a wobble. Hopefully it will pass.
Imagine if you were with the ‘hot’ guy and everyone else fancied him too, you’d be going out of your mind with worry every time he was out without you !

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 10/10/2021 08:10

Is your partner good in bed? My H was objectively "ugly" but when I looked at him I always wanted to take him to the bedroom because I knew how good the sex would be.

If I no longer found him attractive, and if the sex was shit, then it would be curtains for me (and it was).

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