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Original poster

My husband always nitpicks about mess!

39 replies

Mamaof2222 · 09/10/2021 20:59

Okay so my husband works and I am at home with a 9 year old and four month old baby. I try and keep the house as clean as possible (this has been hard since the four month old) but to my standards I think I have been doing quite well! However last couple of days I have just been a little useless in terms of household chores so maybe I'm being extra sensitive at the moment! Anyway today we were having a lively morning when he went to make me something to eat in a quite untidy kitchen! (It was tidy before dinner yesterday but I cooked for him and his friend and flew off to bed without properly cleaning up as I was exhausted). He was happy to fix me something to eat then started moaning about crumbs in the butter his words exactly "you don't need to put crumbs back in the butter when u make toast" and "there's water in the cheese draw" he then changed his mind about eating with me and angrily told me he was going to tidy the kitchen instead as he "did not want to live like a tramp". I took offense ended up getting angry and blurting out how I am always the one to tidy and how it's not nice the things he is saying etc. He then called me a tramp and said u can just live in filth. I'm really hurt by the way he thinks he can talk to me. And also because of the fact that I do my best to tidy everyday yes I may have left crumbs in the butter but when your trying to make yourself something to eat with a four month baby attached to your side these things slip. I've tried to bring it up to him this evening but he's all "I can't say anything to you. Fine I'll just live with burnt things in the butter" or I just get a really sarcastic "sorry for asking you not to put crumbs in the butter or for a tiny bit of care to the house". I really think he is overreacting especially because he does about 10 percent of housework. I'm just so angry about this!

OP posts:

Sally2791 · 09/10/2021 21:05

Enjoy your children, try to ignore the saddo who gets bogged down in nothingness.

Pinkbonbon · 09/10/2021 21:55

So basically he is at best, an arsehole and at worst, a bully.

Don't think I'd want to be around someone that called me names either. I've left primary school.

Does he bring joy to your life?
If not, take Marie kondos advice and chuck the bastard out.

Raychelle · 09/10/2021 22:07

Crumbs in the butter? Is that all he has to worry about in life? If he wants a spotless house, he can tidy it himself can’t he.

Rainbowqueeen · 09/10/2021 22:08

Tell him he needs to make you all your meals then. Or look after the children while you feed yourself. If he WFH then he will need to stop every time you are hungry.

He is ridiculous.

Thatsplentyjack · 09/10/2021 22:12

🤣 crumbs in the butter and water in the cheese drawer! Tell him to fuck off! How pathetic!

Theunamedcat · 09/10/2021 22:15

@Thatsplentyjack

🤣 crumbs in the butter and water in the cheese drawer! Tell him to fuck off! How pathetic!

This ^ all day long

How much looking after the kids does he do? Do you get any downtime at all?

samwitwicky · 09/10/2021 22:23

Time to try some role-reversal

kittenkipping · 09/10/2021 22:33

Crumbs in the butter and water in the cheese draw- unless said by hyacinth bucket, for comedic value in popular sitcom keeping up appearances- is so ludicrous, as to leave me questioning the motives of the person saying them? Surely his anger and control can't be about such small inane pointless things? Really?

Onthedunes · 09/10/2021 22:43

Tell him to take 4 month old babe to work with him, see how much work he gets done.

How wonderful for you, for him to point out all these things you do wrong. It must be exhausting for him.

The perfect man.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/10/2021 22:53

he is at best, an arsehole and at worst, a bully.

This.

You cooked for him and his friend and he's seen his arse that you didn't also clean up. He's a cunt.

RantyAunty · 09/10/2021 22:53

I guess it didn't occur to him and his friend to clean up the kitchen after you were nice enough to make them dinner.

You're not his maid.

FuckmyHead · 09/10/2021 23:19

@Onthedunes

Tell him to take 4 month old babe to work with him, see how much work he gets done.

How wonderful for you, for him to point out all these things you do wrong. It must be exhausting for him.

The perfect man.

👆🏻This

FuckmyHead · 09/10/2021 23:20

@RantyAunty

I guess it didn't occur to him and his friend to clean up the kitchen after you were nice enough to make them dinner.

You're not his maid.

And this 👆🏻

Ladylalaboo1 · 09/10/2021 23:22

What a dick, if my DH moaned about crumbs in the butter I'd wipe them on his face! Seriously though, there's more to life surely then a prestine home? I have three kids, ones just turned a year and the others 5 and 7, and my house nearly always resembles a bombsite. There's always laundry somewhere and lego in every place imaginable, but that's kind of what life is like with kids?? I could make it prestine every day I guess but then I'd be exhausted even more, angry and resentful and It would be pointless as it would be messy again in a few mins. As long as its clean as in not actual filth but just clutter and mess then it's really not that big of a deal. Tell your dh if it's that much of a problem he can either do his fair share of the tidying or watching the 4month old whilst you tidy. He'll soon stop crying about the crumbs and wet cheese drawer!

Aquamarine1029 · 09/10/2021 23:27

You picked an arsehole, and it won't get better.

MiddleParking · 09/10/2021 23:35

He’s an absolute wanker. Also I never know what people are doing with their butter to avoid getting crumbs in it.

lollipoprainbow · 02/11/2021 07:42

What's a cheese drawer ?!

whattodo202000 · 02/11/2021 08:11

He sounds horrible. I don't like crumbs in my butter and we are lucky our butter is normally crumb free but if crumbs were there I would never fly off the handle like he has! You are right to be angry and he should not be calling you nasty names.

1MillionDollars · 02/11/2021 08:16

@samwitwicky

Time to try some role-reversal

. . . About to say the same. Leave him with the kids for a weekend so he can appreciate how bloody hard it is.

I've shared in the child rearing from birth, I worked at home. Going to work is easy, looking after the kids and house should come with an 80k salary. Danger money, free spa and well being days and 8 weeks holiday.

Sonaftersonafterson · 02/11/2021 09:16

Married and divorced one of those. Fuck that for a game of burnt buttered soldiers.

Allgreyeverything · 02/11/2021 11:20

Wow, what an exhausting little prick

Nanny0gg · 02/11/2021 11:34

@RantyAunty

I guess it didn't occur to him and his friend to clean up the kitchen after you were nice enough to make them dinner.

You're not his maid.

This

Wiredforsound · 02/11/2021 12:20

Well done on marrying a butter crumb ass.

fuckoffImcounting · 02/11/2021 13:47

Shove the butter up his arse and stick his dick in the wet cheese drawer.

BeggarsMeddle · 02/11/2021 18:34

He could have just got on with cleaning up the butter... you know, like a man who understands these things happen when you've got your hands full. He didn't gently tease you or make light of it.
He didn't ask you to try to avoid getting crumbs in the butter. There was no good-natured discussion or understanding on his part. Instead, he moaned, called you a tramp and was sarcastic. That's plain nasty. I hope he's made a heartfelt and genuine apology since.

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