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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just need to vent...

7 replies

sadlove987 · 09/10/2021 17:18

Relationship is drawing to a close.
Haven't seen him for two weeks as I've been busy with work.
He calls every day, but hasn't said he's missed me or given any hint.
In past, I'd live with boyfriends who would look after me if i were going through a stressful or busy time at work, eg, cook nice meals, take me for walks etc I'd do the same in reverse
It's called supporting your partner
I couldn't live with current partner - he'd just cook himself frozen pizzas and expect me to sort my own food
He has shown no desire to see, not even to pop by for a quick drink, even though I was only 15mins away
It's the first weekend properly free since I've had since starting a new job two months ago and after a huge project that has gone successfully
Instead he wants today for himself, and he says we get to spend the day together tomorrow - after not seeing me for two weeks
He went out with a group of friends the other night
It's just so....shit
Yesterday I met up with my best friend who can't go without a week without seeing his girlfriend and always surprises her and makes her feel loved. He celebrated my work achievement with me.
My boyfriend? Nah there won't be anything like that
I know I need to end it
It's been a long time coming
It's just horrible being in a dead relationship
Shouldn't be like this after two years, should it?
I don't even think he realises there's anything wrong and it's just the way he is with everyone, including his family
I guess he's avoidant?
I'm so scared of starting over again, I'm late 30s, but I don't want to settle

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 09/10/2021 17:27

Yeah this is really hard work. You know he's not a good long term partner.

samwitwicky · 09/10/2021 17:32

I'm surprised you gave it two years

sadlove987 · 09/10/2021 17:46

Part of me wondered if it’s just part of being in a long term relationship at an older age, rather than being in the young throes of love

OP posts:
RandomMess · 09/10/2021 18:14

Nah it's not going anywhere is it?

He hasn't got your back to support you through good or bad times!

girlmom21 · 09/10/2021 18:30

@sadlove987

Part of me wondered if it’s just part of being in a long term relationship at an older age, rather than being in the young throes of love
It's not even that long a relationship. Reaching a certain age doesn't mean you should settle. Life's way too short. You should be happy.
girlmom21 · 09/10/2021 18:30

And you're only late 30s - that's definitely not an older age regardless!

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 09/10/2021 18:33

You deserve a lot better than this, OP. Relationships should be a team, otherwise what's the point?

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