Tinder

[olegthemeerkhat]

Hello,

New to Tinder but have no idea how to put into words what I'm looking for or how to attract the right person.

Any tips?

I love the countryside and nature and like to keep physically fit e.g. walking, cycling

Would like a long term relationship but at the same time not desperate and won't settle for just anyone. I love my own company and independent.

Lastly do you only swipe on photo verified profiles and swipe if you share the same interests?

Willing to try but not expecting much given the nature of internet dating.

Or would I better off with something like POF? I meant to add I prefer talking and getting to know someone face to face so not interested in anything long distance.

Are you looking for a long term committed relationship? Tinder is often seen as a hookup app.

Tbh ppl oftrn don't read the bio before swiping one way or another.

It's very image based.
But it's useful to have a bio as a conversation starter.

But I'd focus on some nice pics. Pictures that are taking points are good. And make sure their is also a picture with your full figure in it, not just face shots.

You can meet long term partners on tinder and tbh I prefer it to more niche sites like match ect which attract a lot of oddballs. And narcissists.

Basically it's a more mixed bunch on tinder.
Though I've heard good things about bumble too.

*talking points

Oh and rule of thumb in tinder - if a person messages asking what you are looking for on there straight off the bat or very early on, you glean guarantee they are only looking for a hookup. Something I've noticed.

You can write that you are looking for a partner on your bio but be aware, a lot of ppl will flat out ignore it.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation I'm looking for something long term. Not interested in casual dating at all. To be honest I'd rather meet people in real life as chemistry is very important to me and don't want to waste time talking to someone only to meet in real life and we don't get on.
I'm finding values are more important than shared interests. God it's hard to meet the right person.

@Pinkbonbon Have you ever experienced narcissistic people on platforms such as Tinder out of interest? Anyway to avoid narcissists?

There are narcissistic people everywhere unfortunately.

But i found there was more of that sort on paid dating sites. Probably because they like to think paying for a service sets them above fee site users.

Best way to avoid narcissists to educate yourself continuously throughout life on red flags. And to trust yourself and leave the second anyone makes you feel bad about yourself or uncomfortable in their presence.

*free site users

"Best way to avoid narcissists to educate yourself continuously throughout life on red flags. And to trust yourself and leave the second anyone makes you feel bad about yourself or uncomfortable in their presence."

100% THIS.

Trust your instincts not externals

if someone has a job saving babies and puppies for a living...

and your mum and best friend loves them..

and you met on a site saying they're a verified millionaire,

and they're pushing your boundaries or making you uncomfortable, you walk.

@Pinkbonbon I have a feeling I was friends with someone narcissistic because I never felt good about myself in their company and they would only contact me if they had no one else to hang out with. Plus everything was on their terms.

Yeah I wouldn't be surprised. Ppl often forget that these people have friends, family and colleagues whom they may abuse too.

There's a ton of them around too. And imagine how many ppl each one has close to them at some point over their life. So there's a lot of shittyness to go around :/

Funily enough I just saw an article written by an old 'friend' who was one. I had to catch myself because part of me was proud of her and felt sorta sad. But she was an ice queen bitch from hell and I have to remind myself that if the shoes were on the other foot she would have tried to turn my success into a competition.

Still though, I'm thankful I had her in my life because she taught me a valuable lesson on how to spot these sorts in friendships.

We live and learn I guess :)

I met my DH on tinder, they're not all baduns. Just have a thick skin, don't be upset if you get ghosted early on (ghost people yourself, easiest way to get rid of people) and meet people quickly - don't talk to them for weeks and weeks before you meet up because you'll find it harder to extricate yourself if you don't like them.

My partner's profile on tinder was active lady wanted for straight forward relationship.

He swiped me on the Thursday...me on Saturday..started chatting and 3 years later we are getting married next year. He'd used dating sites for years and was fed up with some of the profiles on there of women wanting this and that...he's a wonderful straight forward guy and I fell for him the moment we set eyes on each other

@Pinkbonbon well my phone contract ends next month and number being disconnected so a good reason to erase this user ex friend out of my life. They won't be able to get in touch ever again. Good riddance lol

Both me and my best friend met our fiancée and husband (respectively) on tinder!

My advice is - don't expect anything too much, go into it with an open mind. Make it clear you are not looking for a hook up in your bio. Get some great quality photos of yourself (I think the max was 5 when I was on there, but use them all).

Loads of people will waste your time, send messages and then ghost you. Don't take it personally.

The good ones can normally hold a decent, adult conversation via msg.

Good luck!

@Musicaltheatremum that is wonderful to hear!!

@TurnipTales You see this is where I'm better with in real life meeting people. I get bored of small talk and endless chit chat. The 'Hi, How's you' brigade gets tedious!

[quote olegthemeerkhat]@TurnipTales You see this is where I'm better with in real life meeting people. I get bored of small talk and endless chit chat. The 'Hi, How's you' brigade gets tedious![/quote]
The trick is to keep messaging to a minimum and meet someone as soon as possible after matching, it's easy to get caught up in banal conversation for ages otherwise. There are some good people out there!

[quote olegthemeerkhat]@Pinkbonbon well my phone contract ends next month and number being disconnected so a good reason to erase this user ex friend out of my life. They won't be able to get in touch ever again. Good riddance lol[/quote]
Good luck!

Agree with the posters saying meet them quick too btw. I usually ask them in a date within 2 or 3 conversations max. Coffee dates first ideally so that if they are nuts you can make a fast exit lol.

I'm finding values are more important than shared interests. God it's hard to meet the right person

I'm 💯 agreeing with that, and it's why I've mainly gone with okcupid - the personality quizzes mean you can weed so many undesirables out.

I don't mean to imply anyone specifically is undesirable, but if you're a dog person for example you can look for someone who loves dogs, etc.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation I couldn't date someone who was tight with money or didn't care about the environment for example.

Another thing is Tinder worth paying for?

[quote olegthemeerkhat]@EvenMoreFuriousVexation I couldn't date someone who was tight with money or didn't care about the environment for example.

Another thing is Tinder worth paying for?[/quote]
Nah just stick to the free stuff.

@WhoWearsShortShorts

“ghost people yourself, easiest way to get rid of people”

No not this! You should always treat people as you expect to be treated.

[quote SweetBabyCheeses99]@WhoWearsShortShorts

“ghost people yourself, easiest way to get rid of people”

No not this! You should always treat people as you expect to be treated.[/quote]
I don't mean doing it to everyone. Only the ones you can't shake off and don't feel bad about doing it. A lot of people will accept a thanks but no thanks but I had one bloke who kept making new accounts and sounding up for the premium version to attampt to contact me.

Just saying look after yourself, move on quickly and dont be afraid to do what you need to to get rid of certain people