My friend's 13 yo daughter has a public instagram account with 1,100 followers and is posting photos of herself in her underwear...

[wheneveryousaymyname]

...I only know about this as my own DD follows her daughter (they are both in year 9). They used to be friends but friend's DD dumped my DD about 18 months ago and various nasty scenarios have followed.

DD showed me the insta account today because she was concerned it wasn't safe (my DD does have insta but only has 22 followers, all people she knows and all on a private account).

It's clear my friend doesn't know about the account and I'd just straight out tell her but my DD says if her DD finds out she told on her she will make up rumours and spread them round the school.

It's a safeguarding issue I don't want to turn a blind eye to, what's the best approach without landing my DD into something she didn't ask for? Notify the safeguarding officer at school?

To complicate matters my friend's family already have social services involvement due to DV, I had a thread about it recently and chose to take a step back from the whole thing as it was affecting me personally.

What would you do?

Id contact the school's safeguarding officer and alert them. And ask to remain anonymous.

Send your friend an anonymous text or email.

It's your friends child? Talk to your friend as a starting point.

Go via school. Call and ask to speak to the Designated Safeguarding Lead.

If she has over 1000 followers then anyone could have reported it. It won’t automatically be thought it was your dd

Yep tell the school. I presume the majority of the kids in her grade are also followers of this girl so it can’t be traced to you. Don’t tell your DD that you did it.

Could you say you were snooping on your dad's account and noticed her dad's account, but you don't want your dd to know you were snooping?

@Porcupineintherough

Id contact the school's safeguarding officer and alert them. And ask to remain anonymous.

Jesus yes!

*dd's damn autocorrect

Thank you, here's my previous thread (namechanged since) the advice was to leave well enough alone with that family and I'm desperatealy trying to put boundaries around this stuff.

But this is an active safeguarding risk, I'm glad people don't think I'm overreacting

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4361380-Im-having-a-trauma-response-over-my-friends-DV-situation-How-to-support-her-but-make-sure-I-look-after-myself

I would tell your friend first
and say you told her before brining it up with the school— if she does nothing I would then bring it up with the school

@Crikeyalmighty

I would tell your friend first and say you told her before brining it up with the school— if she does nothing I would then bring it up with the school

I've thought about this but my DD is very concerned it will result in her being bullied and to be honest I'm going to put my own child first considering the ongoing situation.

@Porcupineintherough

Id contact the school's safeguarding officer and alert them. And ask to remain anonymous.

I absolutely agree.

Ring the school and ask to speak to the person in charge of safeguarding.
Don't tell them your name at any point (make one up) you would be amazed how many times 'anonymous whistleblowers' are outed and get burnt.

Report it to the school and to Instagram. help.instagram.com/192435014247952

If social services are already involved with the family I would speak to them.

Clearly these children are already at risk and your friend is failing them already. The more evidence that SS have of this the more they will be able to do for these children.

@HeartsAndClubs

If social services are already involved with the family I would speak to them.

Clearly these children are already at risk and your friend is failing them already. The more evidence that SS have of this the more they will be able to do for these children.

Thank you for putting this into words. I think this is what I have concluded.

Thank you for all the responses, I completely appreciate all of them.

I too think contacting ss is a good idea. Ask if they can say they found out while conducting their usual checks. To keep your daughter safe from the blackmailing girl in question.

I don’t think you can sit back and do nothing as if you later hear about some horrific abuse that little girl was being subjected to and knew you could have done something to help you’d feel awful. So you’re doing the right thing. Even though it’s a frightening situation for all concerned.

Contact Social Services
In my experience Social Services have tighter confidentiality procedures than schools so less chance of you’re identity being revealed.
School would be duty bound to inform Social Services so you’re cutting out the need for duplication/ delays/ unnecessary procedures.
It’s not an Education issue it’s a Child Protection issue.
By sharing this information you will have done your bit and can step back.