I’m in need of advice please. Sorry very long post about a very complicated marriage.
We’ve been married for nearly 20 years.
DH had a sex addiction of 5.5 years that I discovered in 2017.
I struggled with it a lot. Supported DH he went to therapy but the pain and shame never left me. I only ever told my mum and had group therapy and was carrying this dark secret.
During his addiction we had two more children (we had a 6 month old baby when it all started). So we now have three kids.
I found the whole time since the discovery of his addiction so painful. I found him also a quite an angry person after the nice behaviour wore off. He is prone to a temper.
Anyway during Covid I got quite low being at home doing home schooling and feeling generally trapped. I found the way he spoke to me made me feel worse and worse about myself and I think I was actually depressed. Anyway one day he swore at me and something snapped. I went online to a site and started to chat to some guys. I know it’s wrong but it made me feel better so much better than I’d felt for years. To have attention and to feel a bit of an excitement. Anyway one guy and I got chatting and arranged to meet for coffee. Early this year. Then our second meeting we went to a hotel and slept together. My husband found out a couple of days later when he saw messages on my phone and went ballistic.
He left for a few days.
He came back.
We had couples therapy individual therapy but he says he can’t forget what I did and can’t get over it. Eight months on I have moved on but he can’t. We now think it’s maybe better to separate as it’s simply not working.
Advice is much needed. I’m extremely sad and low and very confused.