Is right person but wrong time real?

[MrsWobbleTheWaitressIsTired]

Met someone 15 years ago. We clicked. Great friends and we both had DP. Things have changed. I have a new DP (13 years) and DC. This other person has a DP who they have been with for 10 years.
The spark is still there. I think I missed my chance. I didn’t realise how they felt about me when we first met and I know that they still have feelings for me.
I’d never cheat. I just wondered if right person but wrong time is a thing.

Any thoughts?

If you're in a good relationship and want it to stay that way I would try not to spend much time pondering what ifs. The grass usually isn't greener.

But you say nothing of essence of your current partner or this other dude, so no one can really give meaningful advice.

Is there more than one person in the universe you could form a functional, loving relationship with? Yes, probably. Statistically, it's likely.

Should you remain "great friends" with someone for whom you have feelings, someone you believe has feelings for you, when you (and they) are in a relationship? No.

There is more than one 'right person' for everyone. Is it possible to meet a good relationship match for you when both parties are in other relationships? Of course. Is it possible to fancy someone even though they are not a good relationship match for you(eg: because they already have a partner)? Yup.

No need to romanticise it.
Also, people change so much in 15 years. Even if you fancied rachoþher and would have made compatable partners then...it doesn't mean you still would.

*eachother lol

'Right person, wrong time' is all very theoretical, OP.

Are you looking for a universally accepted rule to free you from your dilemma?

There isn't one. Adults make their own rules, as long as they don't go as far as breaking laws. Stop theorising, and work out whether you want to leave your partner for this person. If you love someone, all the theories in the world go in the bin.

A big part of being in a committed relationship is turning towards your partner and away from distractions and temptations.

Even in the most perfect of marriages there are times when your head is turned. It’s the choice that you make next that counts.

For what it’s worth I have had 2 right person/wrong time situations but for this lifetime I choose dh.

I don't think it's a thing. If two people's lives and situations are incompatible so that they can't be together, that would suggest they aren't right for each other, even if they like each other. Otherwise you'd be together. That's my opinion on it anyway.

Excellent advice on here. OP there seems little of reality and much nostalgia and fantasy in your post. Tread carefully.

I think what's for you won't pass you by.
And I also think that right person/wrong time can be a thing... I've got that going on at the moment. I've met the right person and it's too late (he has a serious illness and a very poor prognosis).

I don't think you should romanticize things with this guy. It isn't going to help anyone. You might have got together 15 years ago and lived together for a couple of years before discovering that you really weren't compatible at all.
Are you unhappy in your relationship and is that why you are dwelling on your feelings for this man?

“A big part of being in a committed relationship is turning towards your partner and away from distractions and temptations.

Even in the most perfect of marriages there are times when your head is turned. It’s the choice that you make next that counts.

For what it’s worth I have had 2 right person/wrong time situations but for this lifetime I choose dh”

This is beautifully put.

@thelegohooverer

A big part of being in a committed relationship is turning towards your partner and away from distractions and temptations.

Even in the most perfect of marriages there are times when your head is turned. It’s the choice that you make next that counts.

For what it’s worth I have had 2 right person/wrong time situations but for this lifetime I choose dh.

Turning towards my partner. Thank you, that's a really good way to put it.

@Yummypumpkin

Excellent advice on here. OP there seems little of reality and much nostalgia and fantasy in your post. Tread carefully.

You're not wrong! It certainly feels like fantasy. That's why I'm looking for a sense check.

Almost poetic how that was put.
Simply perfect, and perfectly simple.

You've got great advice there. So easy to plunge deep into the what might have been daydream. I came on top say what PinkBonBon and TheFoundations said (though probably wouldn't have phrased it so neatly). Worth thinking if you (and your dp) have drifted and maybe you need to water the grass on your own side if the fence a bit more? These kinds of ponders can be a timely heads up you've not been giving each other enough attention.