Your dh sounds a little bit like me, so the boot IS on the other foot here, but OH MY GOD, yours actually uses the washing machine? I am well impressed!
I too can get a little defencive if told I am doing something wrong, I rather scrunge up my face, mutter a few little something and do it again, but apologise?
Like last night, I was exhausted, we had taken the kids all the way into the Barbican for a panto (over an hour drive in rush hour traffic), and got home 10.30 in the evening. I had been up since six am, he had been sleeping in till 12 (he works a lot at night) I was going to bed but I offered to run the coffee maker for dh who had a few more hours of work on the pc before he could go to bed. He then asked if I could check on the coffee as it looked rather thin, and maybe I had not placed the filter correctly as the water seemed to go on the outside and not through the coffee, iyswim. I got upset and defencive because I had offered to make him coffee, and now I had to get down and check on it? His response, if you do something, just make sure you do it right, ok!
It upset me. I had made an effort, did not get it right, and was tackled about it, put down and asked to redo it. Should I apologise too? Couldnt he just sort it out, when he saw what the problem was, and clearly knows how to do it?
So, yes, the boot is on the other foot, and speaking from the perspective of somebody who constantly try, and sometimes get it wrong, and have to deal with that, I can sort of see myself in your husband.
Being in the wrong, and always made to feel it is not good enough is soul destroying. Not saying you are as bad as my husband, as I am sure you are not, or that your husband is like me, is probably not right either.