Should I forget meeting up

[Peppapigforlife]

I'm quite good friends with the first guy İ dated in school and we have always been in contact every few years since we left school. Life will get us moving in different directions and we won't speak for a few years or a year and then we will pick back up like no time as left.

Recently we have been in contact again and he mentioned about driving down to where I live to visit. İ didn't want him to as I'm a single mum and my house is a mess so I didn't push it or entertain the idea. İ did invite him to some of my birthday plans in the city he lives (where I grew up) coming up but he is away on holiday at that time.

Anyway, he called me this week and we got into a long and deep conversation about our previous relationships and life in general and it was quite nice. İ said oh we need to meet up to catch up properly and he said he would come down when I've moved into my new place (as I'm potentially moving to a nicer area soon) and I told him I'm going to be in his city this Saturday evening for a friend's birthday night out and could potentially meet him in the day time if İ'm not too tired from parenting all week. He said he would put me in his diary as me potentially coming up (me being the reason it would be potential, not him). I said I would let him know.

Anyway I called him yesterday to make a plan of a time, as I was also making a plan of a time in the evening with the birthday friend. He was in the barbers getting his hair cut and said he would call me back afterwards but he didn't.
I feel like I want to change my habits with guy friends in general and not chase anyone down, so in my shoes, would you write off the meet up, unless he calls before Saturday, or just see it as a casual slip of the memory and send a text? I feel like friends treat me like an option in general and I'm trying to change that.

It sounds like he may of made other plans but didn't want to say, with him in the barbers getting ready for the weekend, people don't normally forget to message a friend they are definitely seeing. I wouldn't chase him either, it's Friday now if he wants to see you he'll message by this evening, if it's last minute on the Saturday that's a bit rubbish to expect you to keep to them especially when he said he'd message you yesterday.

I feel like even if he messages me later on today it's a bit last minute as I've got to get organised before going to the city, so if he has forgotten/made other plans, I could schedule back the organising. That's why I feel like sending a message so I can say I need to get organised one way or another.

Thanks for replying by the way!

I would send a text but if he knocks you back I would leave it completely.

I would leave it and see if he contacts you about it.

I would not text him. Ball is in his court now. To be honest I think you following up again would make you look a little too eager.

Yeah I'm gonna leave it.

Leave it. It’s very suspicious that he will happily met you at your house but not odd and about in his current city. If he contacts you before tomorrow then great but if not
I would block him.

Yeah, I'd leave it.

@Fallagain

Leave it. It’s very suspicious that he will happily met you at your house but not odd and about in his current city. If he contacts you before tomorrow then great but if not I would block him.

That jumped up at me too. He haw eager to meet when he thought sex was on the table. I find it creepy when guys invite themselves over to my house and I always say no.

*was eager

I would leave it too.if you message him you will never know if he would have contacted you himself. Honestly if he wanted to get together he would have hit back to you before now. You should make other plans, and don't give him a second thought.

I would leave him to it.
I would not contact him.

I def wouldn't contact him again. I agree with a previous poster who said he seems a bit keen to come to your house. I'm not usually suspicious of people's motives, but it definitely seems to me that in this case he's just after sex.

If he wanted to meet with you while you're in his city, he would have called you back or made other suggestions for you to meet out and about, rather than just him driving to your current or new home.

If all you're after is sex, then by all means, crack on safely, but if you're after either just friendship or a relationship, I don't think he seems like the guy for you.

Best of luck.

Just text

As others have said, I'd leave it. You rang him to sort arrangements, and left the ball in his court. If he wants to see you, he'll contact.

I think it was a bit strange to ask him to basically keep his Saturday afternoon because you might have the energy to meet up with him, and to tell him one way or the other at such a late stage. My guess is he went with a more concrete option and I don't blame him. You have treated him like an option.

@Tillysfad that's an interesting way to see it and possibly how he sees it. We only had the discussion on Monday night so I wasn't asking him to keep it free for a long time, and I made the effort to confirm within a few days, once I knew how my week was going. He's quite blunt and open though, so if it was an issue to keep his Saturday afternoon, he would have said straight away that he didn't want to.

He knows I have a toddler too so he wouldn't be expecting to have sex if he drove down to see me.

My guess is he probably forgot about the plans in the moment and thought I was ringing up for a long chat (because as teenagers I would call him every few days for chit chat) and doesn't realise that me in my thirties isn't the same person.

@littlebirdblu yeah I've decided to make other plans. I'm going to just chill at home, have a soak in the bath, catch up on some housework and leisurely make my way to the city to meet the birthday girl in the evening.