Help, is it me or him?

[mummyvontummy]

I haven't had a relationship since having dd, and so, four years on, I have finally met someone! He is lovely and dd thinks he is wonderful, but I'm feeling REALLY trapped. Is it because it has been so long since I've been in a relationship, or because I'm scared of it going wrong and me hurting dd, or because it is not going to work?
I keep getting really panicky and wanting to end it, but when I sit down and ask myself why there isn't any reason at all, just that I haven't got as much time to do my housework! Should I ride it out for a bit and see-I find new situations hard to adjust to as it is so it might be that, and I am so used to doing what I want to do when I want to do it it might just be selfishness on my part that I'm not getting any me time?

yes, I'm sure you are feeling trapped because you've got used to being on your own (and aren't relaxed about it because you're anxious about it failing). I'm someone who likes space and understand that feeling.

But I must lol at not getting enough time to do housework . Surely, there are other things your time is being used for now that are FAR more fun?

Perhaps you just need to give it a bit more time and then you'll start relaxing and enjoying it a bit more!

Do you like him though and want to be with him? you didn't mention that! If it is still early days, it might be worth giving it a bit more time, especially if you aren't good with adjusting.

Agree with Fox. It's a big adjustment for you and your dd, so it will take time to get used to everything. Just go with it.

I also laughed at the housework comment!

Oh I absolutely adore him, he's wonderful, that's why I'm so confused about the trapped feelings!
His family live in Luxemburg (that's where he is from originally) so is going back for xmas in two weeks, so I'll get two weeks of space then, so that will help my feelings sort themselves out I think. I feel so bad for being so unsure about him-I feel like I've got no faith in us, but he hasn't muttered a word of discontentment, even though I keep getting so stressed and snappy!

hiya, i always seem to wish I had soemone in my life, but 3 yrs since split with dh, I cannot actually imagine how anyone would fit aournd my life.

So can understand feeling hemmed in. Maybe its to soon for you. Myabe he's not the one for you?

i guess trust is the key? give it time.

I love my housework, what can I say! He he! xxx Dd asked him to stay over the other night, so he did, but didn't stay last night and she cried this morning-at least that's proof she's fairly settled with him! That was the bit I was most worried about. It's pathetic when she's fine and I'm not isn't it!!

Yeah PIPT, I think I've just closed my life up around dd so much that I'm finding it hard to open up my time to someone else now. I feel so ungrateful-I've been desperate for this for 4 years!

I think the time apart over Christmas will help you decide how you feel about him. If you've missed him, great! If you haven't and aren't looking forward to seeing him again, then you've probably got your answer.

Fab, thank you x