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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

French kissing? *(Content warning: concerns child sex abuse)

11 replies

SnappyFarter1987 · 07/10/2021 22:54

Posting here for traffic, also unsure where to post. During recent counselling sessions, I have recalled my alcoholic mother instructing me to kiss her on the lips, with our mouths open, during an evening she was drunk. I recall her saying that 'opening your mouth during kisses was not just for boys'. My relationship with my mother has since repaired itself and I am now very confused....I haven't discussed this with anyone but my counsellor and I'm now wondering if this is the root of all my mental health issues. I cannot remember my exact age but I estimate it happened between the ages of 8-10. Is this sexual abuse? Please help, I'm very confused

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 07/10/2021 22:57

French kissing involves tongues. Was it just open mouths you used?

Sn0tnose · 07/10/2021 22:59

I think the best thing for you to do would be to contact NAPAC. Their website is NAPAC.org.uk and it tells you exactly who they are and what support they can offer you.

Original poster
SnappyFarter1987 · 07/10/2021 23:00

Thank you for answering. It was sort of like an opened mouth kiss but not the sort where the tongue is right at the back of each of each others mouth....I'm sorry, I can't describe it properly.

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 07/10/2021 23:01

OP, you might also want to report your own post and ask MN to add a csa trigger warning.

Original poster
SnappyFarter1987 · 07/10/2021 23:03

Sn0tnose, thank you, I'm not sure how to do that, I certainly don't want to upset anybody

OP posts:
Winniemarysarah · 07/10/2021 23:05

This is definitely sexual abuse. Did it happen on more than one occasion?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 07/10/2021 23:06

What did your counsellor say when you told them? I'm sorry you went through that.

Original poster
SnappyFarter1987 · 07/10/2021 23:18

I can only recall the one occasion, and my counsellor seemed a bit taken aback as I blurted it out a bit clumsily at the end of the session. I will define it better for her at our session next week. I'm just so confused as the mother I know now, can't do enough for me or my children. I know this definitely happened though, I'm not imagining it

OP posts:
Winniemarysarah · 09/10/2021 20:01

Do you think she was sober enough at the time to remember the incident?

Sneezecakesmama · 09/10/2021 20:21

speak about it to your counsellor and see if they think its wise to discuss this with your mother?

Sonaftersonafterson · 10/10/2021 17:03

Highly inappropriate sadly. I'm so sorry. You say she was drunk.. does she still drink now?

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