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Relationships

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Is it me or am i justified in feeling this way.

4 replies

jade1979 · 08/12/2007 00:50

When i started dating my now DH i quickly learned of his occasional watching of dirty movies (P**N), and it got to a point (not regular) that we both watched it together and it was quite exciting, but as time went on we stopped watching it and it wasn't missed, i knew he still watched it on his own and did the DIY job when i wasn't around and i would feel slight jelousnous (sp) but that would quickly go because i once asked why he did it and he said "not for the girls but the act that was taking place" (he is into les/bi), but 2 nights ago he was on his pc and i went over to him (as is usual to get his cup and a kiss) and saw he had got a file load of movies and sexy pics of girls, as soon as he realised i could see it he closed the file (i don't know whether that was embarasment), i have never really been bothered in knowing he does the DIY, but last night i had gone to bed and he didn't follow, i fell asleep, he came to bed an hour later and i pretended to be asleep (he woke me up when shutting the downstairs door), he came into the room took one look at the bed and went back down and didn't come to bed till 4 this morn, i have caught him in the act before when he didn't realise i had come down stairs and he ran to the bathroom (with wood) and sat on the toilet pretending it never happend but i just thought it was hilarious till he tried to hide it and then i just got angry, my problem is the way i feel now, it has taken me by suprise, when i look at him or he calls me sweets or love ext i feel kind of discusted maybe like when you find out your partner has cheated and it's not normal for me as i have been kinda cool about the whole thing, i was just wondering if anyone had any advice, i don't feel as though im as sexy as i used to be but i don't think insecurity is the issue, it's almost like when i get a feeling for perverts and i don't like it one bit.

OP posts:
Monkeytrousers · 08/12/2007 01:12

if you have to ask, you already know the answer

loopylou6 · 08/12/2007 10:43

i wouldnt like it tbh, we sometimes watch porn togehter, but he never watches it alone and doesnt do any diy jobs, (yes i do know that for a fact) the way we see it is, if one of usisnt in the mood but the other is, we just get the other one in the mood, we would rather do this than diy jobs IYSWIM...

MuthaHoHoHubbard · 08/12/2007 11:00

I think for guys it's been ingrained in them since a young age that porn and DIY are dirty and should be done in private as it's wrong and embarrassing.

Yeah it's cool to watch together and I'd be fine knowing my guy watched it or had mags and did DIY.

BUT - it seems that he is replacing RL sex with DIY and at the moment prefers to sort himself out. Unfortunately it can be easier to sort your own urges out without having to worry about your partner's. It can also get a bit of a habit.

Do you still have a healthy sex life together(if you don't mind me asking)??

jade1979 · 08/12/2007 18:41

We have a sex life but it has depleted since DS was born in march and it's not as loving, but like i said i was kinda cool about the whole thing until recently, it seems to be when he hides it, it feels like cheating and tbh i don't like the thought of comparing myself to the girls in the films or pics because i know he already said it's not the girls but the act he watches, i know from experiance when i watch movies like the new james bond David Craig is Phwooor so he obviously does look and ogal at the girls.

Thank for the comment Monkey but it obviously didn't help, i want to chew the fat on an issue, and get some advice that i had not thought of.

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