A year ago me and my children's dad split. His personality is to people please. To shut down. Ignore it. Carry on. So rather than shout and get upset and sort the mortgage he chose to wait and see if we sorted ourselves. Then he went through a stage of accepting it and saying but for now I want you to stay here.
We have a mortgage. It was mine from 2010 and he went on it in 2013 and I stopped paying into it in 2016 when I had our first child.
I don't work as I have a young toddler. I have no family close by and I do the school runs. I also have endometriosis and extremely bad periods which leave me stuck in the house for 2 days a month and often I'll be unwell after. I am under gynecology now but they are forever cancelling the clinics and I'm not getting far in getting sorted. But long term I hope to be operated on if there's no way to improve this situation as I can't take hormones.
My dilemma is what are my options for us to separate. He doesn't really want to sell the house. He's clueless and it's causing him stress as he paid 10 grand into it a few years back to have it extended. He's worried about it and has said it would kill him if he had to leave. He wants to keep buying this house.
But if I left what do I do financially?
I have met someone else and my ex is aware I'm dating. But I feel very uncomfortable now having to ask if I'm allowed to go out and I'm feeling alot of guilt for my children as we haven't got set days or evenings to do our own thing. So I feel really aware of myself everytime I go out or spend a night with my new boyfriend.
The final thing is he won't tell his family. I've told mine but feel I can't tell my parents about my new relationship as I don't think it's sunk in.
I feel like I'm trying to please everyone. I'm fed up of spending every night hiding in my bedroom and want to be able to sit in my living room and enjoy my evenings again.
Please can anyone tell me what I need to do? Or am I stuck?