Boyfriend refuses to post me/hides me from certain people

[curlyblondey]

To set the scene, I’ve been with my boyfriend officially for a year. Unofficially for 4. I KNOW this is pathetic but he’s never posted me on social media. I would love for him to post a pic of us but he never has. Until this week that is. We’re on our first holiday and he posted a picture of us on his IG story. I know it’s pathetic but I was literally overjoyed, just felt so happy that he was finally acknowledging me in public etc. Then I thought about it and remembered you could restrict who sees your stories…I asked and he admitted to hiding it from his ex and her family (not sure who else as a huge argument ensued). It’s made me feel really shitty. I don’t want to ruin the holiday, am I being dramatic for being hurt by it?

I understand this could feel upsetting, my husband never tags me or posts pics of me on his fb. Is it more that he’s not told his x about you? than your life being splashed all over social media? Either way your relationship with him is nothing to do with his ex. Have you met his family? That’s more important, his ex is his past.

@Simonjt

I’ve never posted pictures of my husband on social media, we’re not 12, we don’t need pictures of ourselves all over the internet.

Not the point.

Hiding it from his ex is dodgy as fuck

Oh look some red bunting .....

Unofficially for 4 years ... you need to throw this one back.

What do you mean unofficially for 3 years?
He shouldn’t be concerned about his ex’s opinions

WOW...please work on your self esteem

He's not hiding you away though is he?

He posted a picture of you on his instagram or whatever but just had his ex restricted from viewing it. What's wrong with that? Why would he want his ex to see your holiday pics? That's just rubbing her face in it isn't it?
The equivalent of bumping into her and pulling out pictures of his girlfriend to show her.

Presumably lots of other friends and family can view the pictures (if they're interested).

Has his ex been a constant feature in your relationship? Is this a wider issue?

Yanbu.

This is a strange one, could be innocent (doesn't want ex butting in on holiday pics) but equally could mean he's still interested in a relationship with ex.

Your not being pathetic at all. Why the f is he hiding you from his dx and family?

What do you mean, you were together 'unofficially' for 4 years? Were you having an affair? Whatever, sounds dodgy and I'd be ending it. He's not going to change now.

Has he explained why?

The bottom line is he is more concerned with how a woman he was with over five years ago views him than how you do.

Was he still with her for the first 3 years?

The fact he has restricted who sees the photo of you HE posted means HE cares about a lot about social media, not you. Does he acknowledge you to friends in real life?

In my early 20s I was in a similar ‘relationship’. I wish a friend could have taken me aside and told me that it was only me in the relationship, he wasn’t in it. You will meet someone in the future who loves and respects you, and is proud to be with you. But this guy isn’t it.

@LorenzoVonMatterhorn

Ate the unofficial three while they were together Nd she has suspicions. So it wouldnt be about you, but about how she views him? He doesnt want her being right?

This.

If they we’re together during your 3 ‘unofficial’ years he was probably telling her there was nothing going on with you both, now he doesn’t want to be caught out as a liar.

I think he's not that in to you.

You are being unreasonable for giving a shit about social media.

Is he cagey in real life though, have you met his friends, his family etc. or are you just a fuck buddy?

You know the answer to this. What are you hanging around for ?

How can you be unofficially with someone for 4 years?

@Alonghairinapie I’m presuming it was a four year affair.

Nope. Get rid.

Oh. Well when you get with a deceitful person accept more of the same 🤷‍♀️

This is why social media is so bloody toxic. The need for constant external evaluation is sad really. It's 99% people trying to show off and out compete each other about how perfect their lives are.

I wouldn't read anything into it about him not sharing the picture with his ex. If he had shared it with her you'd probably be asking why his ex is following him.

Unofficially for 3 years = he was still with someone else.

Restricts his family and ex = he swore he was not and is not seeing you. Posting a picture would out his lie.

I she a similar issue op. I know it should t bother me but it really does. When asked DP will say he doesn't want to share his life like that etc etc, but he will post shout other things. It feels more and more Shitty as time goes on. It seems such a silly thing to be bothered about (and I'm
Not asking to be splashed all over his social media all the time, but the odd thing when we've been somewhere amazing or whatever would be nice), but it's definitely affecting me and becoming a bit of an issue.

My bf has never posted anything about me on SM, but tbh I haven't posted anything about him either. It's nobody's business what goes on in our private life but I've met all the important members of his family. Have you been introduced to his dm, his df, brothers/sisters, DC if he has any? That's what's important. The world at large doesn't need and doesn't want to know.