Wrong to leave?

[IvyStone]

I want to move back to my home country but I have a husband and a young son. If we didn’t have a child I would have left already.

It feels wrong to take my son away when my husband isn’t terrible. Compared to a lot of what I read on here, he’s not bad. He has always pulled his share at home and with our son, never cheated, no huge red flags.

But I am miserable and lonely here and I am really struggling with the lack of emotional support. I have tried to make friends and thrown myself into building a life here but it’s difficult and I am so lonely. He barely talks to me and knows how unhappy I am. Do I stay and keep trying because it’s the right thing to do for our son? I don’t want to be unfair to my husband either but I am really struggling and don’t know what else to do. I know that legally I could have difficulty leaving but I think he would allow me to move back with our son.

Why haven't you suggested moving as a family?
Why can't you just say 'I'm miserable and what I need for this marriage is for us to move home for the time being'. I'm sorry op but i wowouldn'take a child away from his father just because I felt lonely.

Join some meetup groups, get out and so things and meet people and if it still isn't working for you, present the ultimatum that you both need to move back there because it something you need.

I have suggested it and he used to say things like “If you are that unhappy we can move” but he wouldn’t take any action to make that happen. I have tried to start the process on my own with job searches and looking into the immigration process but he won’t engage with it at all. Over time he has stopped even saying that much and if it came down to it now I believe he would watch us move away rather than move himself.

Book the tickets, tell him the date of the flight, give him his ticket and tell him that if he comes he comes and if he doesn't he doesn't.

@IvyStone

I have suggested it and he used to say things like “If you are that unhappy we can move” but he wouldn’t take any action to make that happen. I have tried to start the process on my own with job searches and looking into the immigration process but he won’t engage with it at all. Over time he has stopped even saying that much and if it came down to it now I believe he would watch us move away rather than move himself.

Then go. He’s said he’ll move, get yourself home. He sounds like he doesn’t actually care either way.

Won’t you need his permission to take his child abroad? Pretty sure he can stop you