Wwyd? Fwb

[Thewitchonthemoon]

I recently posted a thread about stopping seeing someone I found myself in a FWB situation with. I took all the advice, ended it and went on a date with the other blokey.

I think I've come to realise, that I didn't actually like like fwb. I think my feelings were confused, a mixture of alcohol, the fact I fancy him but also the fact that before him, I hadn't slept with anyone, or even been touched by a man in almost 4 years.

So I'd like to have sex with him again, at least whilst I'm just dating around. How would I go about this? I haven't replied to him I almost a week. The last correspondence was when I was a bit drunk saying I couldn't do it anymore and goodbye basically. He replied saying he will never forget it and he wished things could have been different.

Do I just text him tomorrow offering him to come over? It's his birthday on Monday so I was thinking of waiting until then to send a breezy happy birthday message to see where the conversation goes.

Obviously I want to pick the best way that will not make me look like an idiot.

Also, If there is a good way to explain to him that I was confused about feelings due to lack of intimacy for so long, coupled with the alcohol that would be great too

The thing is if you have developed feelings for him are you finding he's holding you back from looking for a relationship and you know it's going nowhere with him.
Dating others and still sleeping with him is a bit sketchy, people say if you're not exclusive then date/sleep around but I think it's a bit wrong. Stick to your decision, you're having a bit of a regret but there will be someone that can offer more once you're free from fwb situation.

That's the thing, I think I was confused about feelings, I think I was just being stupid, I had only met up with him 8 times over the course of 4 weeks. I haven't been ready to date for years or even have sex again until now, I have spent the last 3.5 years just staying at home with my daughter who was born in 2018. So I think I'd like to try it again, if I did develop feelings I would just cut it off. I agree with him that it couldn't go anywhere because of his child and his ex, and also my ex.

If you did want to contact him again, there will an amount of back peddling needed from you, but it sounds like he has left the door open for you, so probably just mention his birthday, if it’s just sex your after

That's the thing. How do I back peddle? Do I say that I confused myself eith feelings which weren't there? The last thing I want is for it to look like I broke it off and I'm going back on my word because I'm bloody pining for him. Also, with any dates I would be upfront.

@Thewitchonthemoon

That's the thing. How do I back peddle? Do I say that I confused myself eith feelings which weren't there? The last thing I want is for it to look like I broke it off and I'm going back on my word because I'm bloody pining for him. Also, with any dates I would be upfront.

Unfortunately you are going to have to back on your word, no matter what, But since the FWB left the door open for you

He replied saying he will never forget it and he wished things could have been different.

Just contact him and see what happens, probably around his birthday as it’s an easy in.

But this is going to be difficult to handle I feel

Also, with any dates I would be upfront.

I had a bit of an emotional time with an ex when I had a FWB, the ex was doing loads of stupid shit which confused me, and I inadvertently put that on the FWB.
Convinced myself I was in love with him for about 2 weeks, broke it off and blocked him. Once I'd sorted my issues, I really missed the sex so I just sent him a message telling him exactly that.

Just text him and say you want to have sex, it usually works with most men.

Thank you all. I want to wait until Monday but I also don't as he could potentially come over tomorrow because he doesn't have his child.

I might have a drink tonight for Dutch courage and do it under the guise of being under the influence be embarrassing though if he's moved onto someone else and tells me to get lost!