Narcissistic People

[thejukester]

Hello,

Looking for advice on how to know for sure if your dealing with someone who is narcissistic. Have looked at Dr Ramani on YouTube but she seems to cover more grandiose narcissism.

Are narcissistic people made basically from not receiveing validation as a child?

Does it matter?

If someone is treating yu in a way you don't want to be treated, walk away.

They are terrible people, you must trust your instinct

Look up covert narcissism.

I think it's just a personality thing they're born with. Know maybe 3 people who I believe truly are narcissists and not just displaying narcissistic tendencies. They were all raised very differently. One definitely got validation as a child.

You can't change them. They will never see that they're the problem. Anything you can prove is shitty behaviour on their part they will twist to be an asset or gaslight you.

Only solution is to leave them to it and avoid them at all costs.

From my experience, often narcissists have at least one parent that is a narcissist. However it is supposed to be that they are made from receiving everything that they want as a child but not necessarily evrruthing that they need. Eg: they are spoilt with toys ect...but not shown much affection.

A recent thing I read was talking about how they may be formed by parents not giving them enough eye contact and skinship in their baby years. Which I suppose would tie in with the lack of their needs being met.

A further suggestion ive seen is childhood trauma before the age of 3, stunting their emotional development at that age.

I do think that many are more genetically predisposed to it than others though. Not to mention, if it's in one of the parents...you could argue they have nature and nurture to contend with.

Tbh though it's just as likely that likely that too much validation (as opposed to not enough) can cause it. Spoilt kids y'know.

But if you want to know if you're dealing with a narcissist, knowing their upbringing won't help you much at all. Because they lie. Do you'll never really know if they are telling you the truth about their childhood.

The word 'narcissist' is thrown around so often, but how helpful is it really?

It feels like some sort of explanation, if only you can label them and put them in that Narcissist box, well that explains things.

But you will not be 'diagnosing' them, and you will probably never really have a full explanation of why someone behaves the way they do.

Forget the labels and pull yourself back to the basics - if someone is not treating you as you wish then you should distance yourself from them.

Whether or not they have a narcissistic personality disorder is for a psychiatrist to decide, if/ when they seek a diagnosis.

For you - just protect yourself from poor treatment and walk away.

Nobody knows the answer. Some think a strong genetic factor, I suspect that myself. Others think more family dynamic. As it’s not curable as such, staying to change them is not an option. Unfortunately you can never trust them not to throw you under the bus.

One of my exDH's was a narcissist. His description of his upbringing totally feeds into the theory. But maybe he read about it and told me. He sure did me a number.

Tell them little low contact. My mother has these traits. Its not nice.

I think we all have the potential to show narcissistic traits, most of us have damage from childhood as no one's parents were perfect. Therefore maybe stop looking for explanations and if someone is treating you in a crappy way then walk away. Simple as that. No adult should be looking for another adult to fill their needs. Mature adults should be able to address their own. It's quite a difficult line to walk in my experience tho, especially when you have been raised codependent. In a lot of cases therapy is necessary.