Wondering if anyone else have this problem.
My mother and I have always had a strained relationship, she blamed me for my eating dial orders and mental health problems as a child and has never believed I am "well"
She however has been a fantastic grandparent to my dc, when they were small she would have them once a week (she lives 45 minutes away so she would stay over) then as the kids got older it reduced and at her request it stopped (Covid was a key factor and enabled me to change my working hours)
Ex dp and I broke up 7 years ago and get I really well and my mother loved him, invites him round and does child care for him still. At her offering (although post Covid this has reduced)
As the kids are getting older my DC are not as willing to sit for hours on face time and not has cuddly (moody teenagers)
I have since splitting up with my ex p met and live with my new p who is great with the kids, me and gets on wel with my ex.
We also compete qnd train in a niche sport as a family on a daily basis, indeed dp and I both coach at the weekends.
This means our down time is limited and we just like to chill as a 4 on a Sunday.
My mother feels pushed out and blames my dp, she is constantly suspicious of him and competitive, has told my aunt (who is my closest friend) she thinks he is a con man.
He is not, he is genuine and actually pushed me to invite them for Xmas dinner last year. They accepted and then declined (Covid) but showed up and refused to enter the house but demanded hugs from the kids.
Everything I do, in life seems to offend my mum. She has said she wants to see more of us, but wants that to be on a weekend but I literally have no time for that, I need down time. The interaction with her is so stressful, she makes comments or gets offended (she was upset that I posted a photo of my aunt and I once) as she is hyper sensitive over our relationship and feels threatened by our friendship.
I ring her often to keep in touch but she ends the call in under 5 minutes because she is always in the middle of something
Every time she invites us to to something ie dinner out by them and we say no she always responds with "is it because x doesn't like us, he is rude"
He isn't, indeed my aunt loves him and he acts the same with all my family, he is pleasent, chatty but gives us space to chat.
Sorry this is so badly written, but it's constant. She also continuously compares me to my step sister
Who is lovey but has no hobbies so can be free whenever, and my sister who is also hyper critical but moved to Australia to get away !