Handhold - Separation and feeling helpless

[Bobbobchampagne]

NC as I post a lot on parenting and feel really in denial about this. For the last 2 years my relationship with DH has been rocky. We’ve been together 10 years and have 1 DC (3 years old). Over the last few weeks DH has told me he wants to leave. He sleeps on the sofa for a few nights, I try everything I can to win him back, we’re fine for a while and then it happens again. I know I can’t keep being the only one who makes an effort and tries to help our relationship, when he so clearly doesn’t want to. Tonight he has walked out on me while we’ve been at a restaurant, for no reason other than I said I didn’t want to have the same glass of wine as him. A lovely couple next to me noticed and asked if I was ok. It makes me feel so sad that strangers can see the impact of his behaviour but he just blames me and says we’re over. I know I can’t make things better now, but I’m so sad at the idea of losing my DH who I love, and having to split time with my DC which really will break me. I’m sorry this is a ramble, but if anyone has been here and come out of the other side I could really do with hearing a positive story.

Oh god I’ve been there. Let him go, you will torture yourself and never trust him to want to be there again. For years after separating from my dh I had dreams that I had changed his mind, would wake up feeling sick. It will get better but you can’t be the only one trying to make a go of it ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for replying @roselikeanyother I hope you are in a happier position now?

So much better thank you and in hindsight everything does work out for the best x Good luck it’s not easy but it does get better.

You can do so much better - bin him!

I was there in the last years of my marriage, it's so painful isnt it OP? Constant rejection and a horrible sick feeling? I'm two years separated now and still feeling lost, hence why I'm sleepless and writing this at 3.40 in the morning!

My point is you can't make him love you, and I understand the not wanting to break up your family I really do. But he's already gone in his heart and you're just prolonging your pain in asking him to stay. Mine ended up cheating despite me trying and trying to make things work, if he doesn't really love you he will end up leaving anyway. You deserve better than a man who makes you feel like this.

I was married for 10 years, we have a child the same age. I was unhappy for a long time, we split and he has moved on. Ten years is a long time especially when you have your lovely baby together. It's a horrible journey to go down and can get nasty, but you will come out the other side, stronger more than anything. Op you will be alright, it doesn't seem like it now but you will be. Sending you a lot of love Op xxx

Have you suggested counselling? Do you think he has met someone else?
It is hurtful that the love and respect for you seems to have gone.