Am I being mean?

[MrsSnape]

My kids go to their dads once a fortnight (saturday night) and I look foward to this time to have a break from them and especially a rest from my youngest who has ADHD.

Anyway, I also suffer from insomnia so hardly ever get a proper nights sleep so I especially look foward to these weekends so I can have a lie in and catch up on sleep on the sunday morning.

I was really looking foward to this weekend as its been a long fortnight and I'm knackered...the stress of christmas makes the insomnia worse too.

However, saturday morning we have a hair appointment for 9am so we'll need to be up early again. I thought "never mind, I still have my sunday" and then my mum phoned and said she'll be dropping something off here on sunday morning...with them this could mean anything from 8am to 10am but more than likely as early as possible.

Thing is they do this all the time, sometimes on purpose as they think its funny to get me out of bed or they'll phone at 7am on sunday morning or something and say "oh sorry, you still in bed?"

I know it probably sounds like I'm a lazy cow but I'm a single parent, my youngest son runs me ragged all week, we have a long walk to school every morning and everynight, karate 3 times a week (again long walks involved here) and this week its been carol concerts, karate gradings, family visitings and everything else and I just want a rest and begrudge having to get up so early on the one day that I could have a lie in.

Its like the odd occasion that I have a night out, my mum has the kids but will bring them back at 7am or something saying they're on their way to market knowing full well that I'd have been drinking the night before and wouldnt be rearing to go at 7am.

Last weekend the kids were at their dads they came around at 8am on sunday morning to drop something off for christmas, then came back at 10am for something else...

Am I being reasonable wanting sundays to myself or am I just being a lazy cow? be honest...I can take it lol

It sounds like they are being mean. I am a bit of an early riser myself, and I would never ring/call on people at that time of day. Can't believe they would do this to you given the circumstances.

put phone on silent and continue with your sleep.......they are not going to dump the little one outside!

Are you still in bed?

So what happened this morning?

You are not being mean. Hope you got some sleep this morning.

Ring them all night (on a week night, not you're weekend off) every hour. "Oh, were you in bed already? Just wanted to tell you something I saw on the shopping channel" etc

Then, never ever answer the phone or door to them on your special Sunday morning. Never. It 'rewards' their bad behavior when you do. Inform them that since they are unable to behave in a civil manner towards you, you have taken the steps of sleeping elsewhere.

You can still answer to everyone else, so it's not a problem.

Thanks for all the messages of support I phoned my mum yesterday and asked her not to bring the thing she wanted to drop off. I said I have christmas presents hidden everywhere...no more room for anything and if they bring it, the kids will see it and it will spoil the suprise.

Then I added "plus, I won't be up that early on sunday morning anyway, its my only chance to lie in".

She sounded a little "off" but said she would keep it at their house for another week or so .

So last night I put the phone on silent and slept until 8:30

Good for you. Suffering myself with a migraine today so I sympathise. Hope you enjoyed your lie-in.

Yeah for you.

Good for you MrsSnape - hope you feel rested today.

Just don't answer the bloody door or the phone - its as simple as that.

YANBU.

You are not being mean at all but your mother is. Like others have said ring her at midnight and if she is in bed say ''are you in bed already?'' I get fed up with a general attitude that it is somehow virtuous to go to bed early and get up early but that if you go to bed late and get up later than sparrowfart that you are some sort of 'waster'. Many of us have body clocks which do need sleep but can't get to sleep before 11.00 and will not be ready to wake up before 7.00 at the absolute earliest. Luckily dp and dd are like this too so we do get to catch up at weekends on sleep but getting dd out of bed for school is a nightmare as her natural wake up time is 8.00.