Starting to date at 36

[MichaelHM11]

I'm 37-year-old now and only started dating women about a year and a half ago. I was always shy and insecure about how I look and who I am. I thought that I could just live my life alone but the loneliness is just to much...
I had about 35 dates since I started and non of them became something meaningful (one fling...).
The question I'm always dreading in dates is "how many relationship did you have in the past?"
Is it better to tell the truth or lie when it comes to that subject ?

Tell the truth. My DH hadn't had a serious relationship before we met and initially I thought he was a commitment phobe. He wasn't. He just hadn't found me yet

I think tell the truth if you judge the person to receive it well. Maybe just be vague initially if you’re not sure. The right person will understand you and get it

100% tell the truth. You don’t have to explain your history just say you haven’t met the right person or had a connection.

Tell the truth - there are many reasons why someone of your age may not have had a relationship yet eg work commitments, long-term illness, travelling etc. However, make it clear that you are now ready for a relationship with the right person - that should reassure the person you're seeing that you're not a commitment-phobe.

If you lie and continue to date that person the truth will catch up with you sooner or later. It would be starting the relationship on the wrong foot. Better own it instead.

Congratulations on starting to overcome your anxiety :) The fling sounds like a great start.

I agree that honesty is good, but if you reveal yourself as inexperienced or with a history of anxiety before they get to know you at all, then it could put them off if they think they might need to support you, or that you might still feel unhappy about yourself and thus not be much fun. You'd do well to either be vague at first, then explain properly later when they know you better - or explain it in a way that reassures them you're in control.

If it’s the right person they won’t care about your previous relationships or lack of. You need to be yourself when your in a relationship.

You could prepare some general statements like ' it's never worked out the way I hoped' or ' I've never found the right person'. I wouldn't lie directly but you don't have to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth until you feel comfortable with someone.

It's quite a personal question anyway. Why do dates need to ask? It's not a job interview. It's a long time since I dated but I don't recall quizzing my exes on their relationship history. Even my knowledge of my DH's is quite vague in terms of how long they lasted, why they broke up etc. It's the past.

The thing is, most women (especially a lot on here) would consider a 37 yo man who says he's never had a serious relationship as a massive red flag - they'll assume he must be a player or commitment phobe.

Don't lie either though, so you need to explain how you've only relatively recently started dating and just didn't do anything before (have some good stories ready about what other things you've been up to for the last 20 years though).

You must be doing something right though, 35 dates in 18 months is pretty good going, I was doing OLD for a similar time and only had 3!