Can you really be connected unconsciously, this a bit silly and woo

[1001nights]

I am 40 next year and I am married.

I met my first love and boyfriend at school when I was 14 and we were together until I was 19 (he was a year older)

He is married too.

We haven’t seen each other in around 17 years.

I started dreaming about him regularly a few years ago. Vividly and lucidly. It would happen for a few days at a time and was very very intensely real.

And then out of the blue he contacted me on social media.

To make a long story short, this keeps happening. He tells me he can’t stop thinking about me. I laugh it off. I don’t feel that way but in my dreams he is always there. And then I stop the dreams. Then they come again for a few nights and bam I wake up and there is a message from him.

Please let me be clear, I am not looking for a reason or justification to start something. I ignore the messages mostly. But it is starting to feel oddly strange that we don’t actually talk but after a few nights of dreams every few months he will message me to say hello.

What the actual f.

I actually wrote a short horror story about my abusive ex whom I hadn't seen in many years, only for him to show up on my bus the next day.

I personally think we sometimes get glimpses of what's to come. Like maybe before we came down here, we watched what would follow, like a movie. And so we sometimes get dejavu. Or premonitions. Or gut feelings. But then, that may be the writer in me talking lol.

You are experiencing confirmation bias.

You remember the times you dream about this guy & he contacts you soon after. You've already forgotten that when you first started dreaming of him, it took several years for him to contact you.

It's not woo - it's coincidence & wish fulfillment.

@Balonzette

That IS weird. I have no idea why everyone is being so snappy and rude to you OP. Of course you haven't done anything wrong. It's a very strange coincidence. I can't think of any logical reason for it.

Oh dear.

The logical reason is ... sometimes these 2 marries people think about their shared past.
Sometimes, they do that within a few days of each other.

OP's married ex is hoping for an illicit shag, which is why he is regularly in touch.
OP is hoping she can dredge up some kind of 'woo' explanation, so that her fixation (I hope temporary) on her ex feels less sordid.

HTH

I kept thinking of an ex boyfriend I hadn’t seen for 15/6 years so in the end looked him up online, he’d died suddenly two weeks earlier

I am an 'open mind person', there's a lot we don't know or understand and there could be science explanations for this kind of thing or science could have woo explanations or are we really just in a simulated multiverse. What I will say is that this 'sliding doors' kind of event has happened to me on several ocassions. Its a little like the 'choose you own ending' books. So while I think it possible its not just coincidence it does not mean necessarily you should be together. Could be the opposite. Could be confirming you definitely shouldn't be. Recently I've had a few outstanding threads of life conclude in ways I hadn't expected via some 'chance' encounters.. which sounds quite mystic meg but is actually just meeting random people find out they have connection to an incident and get some closure on it. i.e i got sacked from terrible bullying workplace about 5 years ago, find out CEO has since gone to prison for fraud which he was covering up. Meet a random person who was involved at just the moment I was wondering about next steps. But maybe my brain is just making a pattern? Who can tell.

Confirmation bias... you dream about people, maybe most nights. Sometimes that will coincide with bumping in to them, or them remembering you or getting in touch. Statistically, that's just going to happen sometimes.

Most of the time you think nothing of it. But sometimes you want to read something in to it so do, then look for it happening again.

If you dreamed about the toothless old man down the road then he knocked on your day the next day, would you start thinking maybe you and he have a connection and romanticising about it?

Hmm this happened to me once. An old boyfriend I hadn't thought of for ages-I and a dream about him and the next day he messaged me out of nowhere via facebook. It really unsettled me!

I bumped into an ex of mine at the Colosseum, the catacombs in Paris, and at the Griffith Observatory in L.A.

I sweat to God, I could scale Everest and he'd come strolling around the summit.

OP have you read Deepk Chopra’s synchro destiny? This along with a book by Gabby Bernstein - can’t recall the name - really touches on these elements of being connected, coincidences and vibrational energy. Soooo interesting as like some of the PP’s above (not the rude comments btw) have said, I too believe you can be connected and in sync with another person and coincidentally you might, for example, bump into them while away in holiday. The books really explain the concept well. You’ve been so honest with your DH and I don’t think I’d read more into it than that it’s coincidence though. However I do also feel that these coincidences are more prevalent when you are more happier, spiritually connected with the world and have focus on where you are going in life. Channelling success is suppose to be a similar concept and my uncle once said that he found in business he just could feel that luck and energy were operating for him on another level. Maybe channel your intuition and energy into another area of your life and embrace it. It’s a positive thing 😊

Last year my neighbour had some men doing her driveway. One of the chaps spoke to Me a couple of times. I got the strangest feelings from him. I sat awake every night thinking of him and how desperately I needed to know more about him. I felt like I knew he wasn't OK and I wanted to know he was OK. I knew he was single. A month after he left the job everyday I thought about him. Wondered if he was OK. Felt like I loved him. I eventually found him on Facebook. I added him and he messaged me. Told me he thought I was beautiful but presumed I'd be taken. I found out he was just a month past a suicide attempt when I met him. He had been in an awful place. I sensed all of that without knowing. I knew he wasn't in a good place even though he had seemed jolly.

Anyway he's now my boyfriend. He's very complex and it's been so hard. But I knew I loved him and was supposed to meet him. I knew I was meant to find him. Knew there was a reason and knew we'd be together.

Also just to add everything with us is linked to 7 or 17. Weeks and days. Dates. Always.

@Rainbowandstarz

Last year my neighbour had some men doing her driveway. One of the chaps spoke to Me a couple of times. I got the strangest feelings from him. I sat awake every night thinking of him and how desperately I needed to know more about him. I felt like I knew he wasn't OK and I wanted to know he was OK. I knew he was single. A month after he left the job everyday I thought about him. Wondered if he was OK. Felt like I loved him. I eventually found him on Facebook. I added him and he messaged me. Told me he thought I was beautiful but presumed I'd be taken. I found out he was just a month past a suicide attempt when I met him. He had been in an awful place. I sensed all of that without knowing. I knew he wasn't in a good place even though he had seemed jolly.

Anyway he's now my boyfriend. He's very complex and it's been so hard. But I knew I loved him and was supposed to meet him. I knew I was meant to find him. Knew there was a reason and knew we'd be together.

aka - you met a bloke & liked him. He liked you too. You picked up on some inner turmoil that he had not yet expressed verbally.

There is not "supposed" & there is no "woo" - it's a sweet story of two compatible souls meeting.

Also, there is no mystic significance to the numbers 7 or 17. Or any numbers. How could there be? - numbers are an invented human construct. You noticing a supposed pattern is mere coincidence & confirmation bias.

I totally believe in this and I've tried it deliberately for years and it works ie bringing a person into mind and within days they contact you. Some would give a logical reason for each time but I do believe we are all energy and can pick up on each others.
My close friend went through cancer treatment a few years back and one night I was lying watching TV in bed and a panic came over me and something was crushing my chest and I had a full blown panic attack. The next morning my friends husband called to say my friend had a reaction to treatment and had gone into a panic at the exact same time as I had experienced this and he had to call an ambulance.
I don't want a logical reason for this we are all made up of energy and give off energy we are not aware of and others must pick this up

@SeaAndTea

The guy is married and giving it 'I can't stop thinking thinking you' - he is a dickhead.

Exactly. He’s not a nice bloke. He’s married but is contacting another woman. He’s after sex and you’re romanticising it. There’s nothing else to it. Men like that will take their chances where they can, occasionally it works for them.
Block this man from your social media, If you’re not happy in your marriage, change something. If you are, stop giving this any thought and get on with your life.

That's definitely why all my ex's (who I'm supposedly 'friends' with) message me... sniffing around even though they are in relationships. I keep my distance for a very good reason.