I did the right thing….I think

[countbackfromten]

A few dates with someone who is genuinely the nicest person I have met in a long time. Great dates, really great until he mentions he likes the writing of a very prominent very conservative figure with some pretty awful views. On further asking he doesn’t believe in the most extreme of them, but says he tends to lean more towards that end of the spectrum. Red flags go off and I say thanks but no thanks.

Conversation was had via text and now I’m doubting myself and I’m not sure why. The dates were awesome and he was lovely but for some reason I’m overthinking it when I know deep down it was the right thing to do.

And I don’t know why my brain is doing this to me.

Shoe him these https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.vox.com/platform/amp/the-goods/2018/12/26/18150322/righter-donald-daters-patrio-conservative-dating-apps&ved=2ahUKEwjG8ODuwLDzAhWSmGoFHfhPAckQFnoECC8QAQ&sqi=2&usg=AOvVaw39N38kQoZ8P9SB0SVIdyf8&ampcf=1

You totally did the right thing! The point of dating is to get to know someone. Now you have, you have identified some extreme views that are not aligned to your own. So it's time to say goodbye. Some of the most awful people in this world are brilliant at coming across as charismatic, nice, helpful..

@DirtyDancing thank you. No idea why I am doubting myself so much when I know deep down it was the only thing I could do!

I had a female friend come out as a fan of Jordan Peterson - once it was out she could not stop talking about him. It was so horrible I had to stop being friends.

Someone can be a nice person/potential partner and still hold political views you don't like. It's not a red flag that he might be abusive or anything like that.

Of course you can choose not to date someone with different political views. But it's not a red flag that you missed, as it wouldn't necessarily effect how he treats a partner.

@me4real

Someone can be a nice person/potential partner and still hold political views you don't like. It's not a red flag that he might be abusive or anything like that.

Of course you can choose not to date someone with different political views. But it's not a red flag that you missed, as it wouldn't necessarily effect how he treats a partner.

It might do if the views held were extreme - racist, homophobic, misogynistic. I would not want to be a partnered to anyone with those views, as I would be offended and constantly upset by them. It doesn't sound like OP was thinking of chucking him because he was a Liberal Democrat and she votes Greens or something.

@fuckoffImcounting blimey! I have no idea why a woman could support him given what he says. It is deeply disturbing.

@me4real it doesn’t mean he would be abusive but it would mean I lived on eggshells wondering what might happen or what he thought about things. I have been in abusive relationships before and now I’m older and hopefully a bit wiser to the things that matter to me and red flags.

@DirtyDancing exactly. I was pretty shocked because it was unexpected but I would always be wondering when it might show itself.

My DH have wildy opposing views to mine and I find some of them repugnant. He doesn't see why and thinks I'm a raving commie bastard!
We love each other, don't talk about certain things which we know are pointless to talk about.
I have no need for him to agree with me and he sees no need to have me agree with him.
We laugh a lot, have amazing sex, he's a brilliant cook and we love spending time together. He is incredibly kind, in addition to being a borderline fascist. He is not out there hurting anyone. He is usually sitting with a sewing machine fixing my clothes or doing DIY, or even giving me orgasms.
😊

What views does Jordan Peterson have that are awful? I'm genuinely asking, if had a brief Google and can only see the 12 rules for life book advertised

@WorraLiberty

You do realise the thread will fill up with people wanting to know who you're talking about?

Either way, if you know deep down he's not right for you, I'd trust your instincts.

Katie Hopkins?

OP, people can have loving, respectful relationships across all kinds of political or religious divides.
My adult DD is a communist and Buddhist, I’m a Tory and Christian, but we love each other to bits, and have interesting discussions. My late DH was a Christian and I at the time was a rabid atheist, but it didn’t stop us having a loving marriage right up to his untimely death. I still love him after 30 years, and never remarried.
I think it’s more important to observe how your partner treats other people in real life, rather than his theoretical views on anything.
If he is caring, loving and respectful of other views, I don’t see why his politics would be a deal breaker, unless you think he is dim and gullible to be drawn into them in the first place, and at risk of joining extremist cults.

@Pollypocket89 well this is worth a read for a start www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2018/05/18/style/jordan-peterson-12-rules-for-life.amp.html

@Babdoc I think a person admiring someone who has pretty awful extremist views is a bit different to someone being religious or of a certain political persuasion!!

... I see now. Thank you.... :/

Wow, that article is awful.
Definitely a huge red flag!